House

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Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Debby Downer

Cuddy enters the meeting room to find a litter box on the floor. "I told you to get rid of death cat," she sighs. House says that a used litter box does not necessarily indicate the presence of a cat. Sometimes his leg hurts too much to make it to the bathroom, so he pees in the privacy of his glass-walled meeting room. Except that he's got a cage full of mice in the room as well, presumably to feed Debby with. Because it's not like cat food isn't readily available or anything like that. Geez. And not only are they mice, but they're also some kind of super genetically altered mice House stole from the oncology lab, which apparently has its own crazy mad scientist research team. House says the genetically-alteredness makes mice taste even better. Cuddy takes the mice back and tells House to get Debby and Morgan out of her hospital, as she knows that the methacholine challenge came back negative so House has failed to prove there's something wrong with her. House demands to know who told on him to her. He guesses Taub. "I'll never say. But yes," Cuddy says. That was stupid of Cuddy. If she wants the Cottages to keep tattling on House when he's doing things that could possibly get her hospital sued out of business, she should probably keep them anonymous. House says he heard Morgan's bronchospasms with his very own ears, and if they kick her out and it happens again, Cuddy will wish she had a "lawsuit cat" to warn her about this. Cuddy is unfazed.

House wheels a fully-dressed Morgan outside for a "good-bye smoke." She says she doesn't smoke as House produces a Cuban cigar. He lights it and proceeds to blow as much smoke as possible in her face. He says he went through her purse and found a bunch of good luck charms and other evidence of a superstitious mind. He asks her how she went from a graduate of a good nursing school with a good head on her shoulders to this, and has already done some research to find out, discovering that she changed insurance plans from a family plan to a single plan four years ago. She says she got divorced. Two years before that, House says, she got a chickenpox vaccine, which adults usually only get when they have children. But Morgan doesn't appear to have a child now. "Something bad happened," House says cavalierly. If you're that certain that someone's kid died, the least you could do is try to act sympathetic about it, House. Geez. Morgan breaks down and says, in between ominous coughs, that her stepson choked on his morning snack at school and died, even though the teachers did everything they could to save him. "He shouldn't have died," she says. House says she's using her superstitions to make it make sense, and Judy Greer is really good here when she sobs "what's wrong with that?" I don't think there is anything wrong with that, but House says it's meaningless and it won't bring the stepson back to life or her ex-husband back to her. How does he know that? The ex-husband isn't dead, so he very well could come back to her. Morgan doesn't have the chance to argue that point, as she starts coughing more and gets a rash on her neck. House waits until she can't breathe to call a nearby doctor over to listen to her lungs. Once he's got an independent diagnosis of a bronchospasm, he congratulates the still-coughing Morgan on her re-admittance to PPTH. The other doctor, meanwhile, just pats Morgan on the back and walks away like bronchospasms are no big deal.

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House

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