Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | 1 USERS: A+

House asks the cop who found Victoria what "really" happened. Cop tells him to read the report; he found her lying on the grass. House says he LIES on his reports all the time. In that case, cop says he...found her lying on the grass. House notices the cop's "cool-looking" taser and says that a shot from an instrument like that could make someone's heart rate soar. The cop gives and says, between him and House, that he found her...lying on the grass. House says he watches plenty of cop shows and he knows how this works. He offers the cop a hundred dollars to tell him what really really happened. Those cop shows are probably as true to real-life police work as General Hospital is to real-life doctors.

House enters Victoria's room, where the patient is dying comfortably and Foreman is hovering over her, all caring now that he's Learned his Lesson. House says that the heart rate is unrelated to the meningitis; she was tasered by a cop. "Jerk," Foreman scoffs. You know what's probably worse than being tasered, though? Having a surgical pin ripped out of your body. Apparently, the first time the cop hit Victoria, she kept going like nothing happened. House jabs a needle into the area, Victoria's hip, and there is no reaction. But she does have feeling in her toes, so the numbness is localized. House takes Foreman's bandaged hand and asks if that's where Victoria bit him. Foreman says yes and then looks the other way. Turning your back on House is a mistake. House jabs him with the SAME NEEDLE he just stuck Victoria with. Foreman only notices it when he turns around and sees a needle sticking out of his wrist. "What the hell?!" he cries. Heh.

House gets a swab of Victoria's saliva ready for testing and runs down her symptoms; ineffectiveness of sedatives, localized numbness, fear of water, and high fever. It all points to rabies. Chase finds this hard to believe, since rabies is pretty rare in the United States. House says that's because when non-homeless people get bitten, they usually get shots for it. Unless they're stupid. I don't understand why Victoria, who seems to visit hospitals quite regularly, didn't do the same. Foreman says that there were bats in Victoria's box. The test comes back positive. Victoria's got a day or two to live, and Foreman may want to get himself some rabies shots before House has to "make another Affirmative Action hire." I'm surprised he didn't reference some Zora Neale Hurston there, as long as he was going for the black joke. I'll tell you, if I was Foreman, there would be a Foreman-shaped hole in the wall, I would have been out of that lab and into the nearest rabies shots place so fast. But he just sits there and looks sad before slowly getting up.

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