House
Histories

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Sara M: A | 1 USERS: A+
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Herstories

House limps over to the coffee machine, because nothing goes with saliva-borne pathogens better than java. Foreman asks him what is so interesting about this case. House says that, right now, it's how much Foreman doesn't want to work on it. This, by the way, is the same logic Cuddy must be using when she forces House to do his clinic hours. Ah well, House never did strike me as someone who holds much stock in the Golden Rule.

The lesion-scarred hand of Jane Doe draws a cartoon of two people in front of a building. Chase says that is a nice drawing of Foreman, like just because Foreman and the cartoon are black doesn't mean they're the same person. The Foreman cartoon is enquiring as to James's whereabouts. Chase asks who James is, and Jane grabs her head and starts freaking out, tossing her food tray into the camera. Well, there goes Foreman's theory about homeless people faking sick to get food. Chase runs off to get some drugs, while Foreman tries to hold Jane down. She bites his wrist, which is just silly because now she's going to have to go back and change her drawing of him to show bite marks. Why make more work for yourself? Chase says Jane is negative for HIV and hepatitis C, so there's some good news. That also explains why House didn't hesitate to eat her puke. Pisssed-off Foreman says he's getting a tetanus shot and Jane is getting her MRI so that they can kick her ass out of the hospital.

A woman who looks like Susan Sarandon bitches that she's been waiting over an hour for her MRI. The desk lady apologizes, saying they're backed up right now. Foreman runs in, ascertains that Susan is next on the MRI waiting list, grabs her paper, and pushes her and her wheelchair out past Chase and his wheelchair, which contains Jane Doe. Foreman passes the patient slip to Chase. Very slick, guys.

Or not, since Jane is just being rolled into the scary MRI tube when Cuddy walks in to bust them. What I want to know is what did Foreman do with poor Susan? Did he wheel her down the stairs and then throw her body in a dumpster because dead women tell no tales, or just lock her in a broom closet?

Foreman has been called into the principal's office. House is there too, but he's more interested in playing with the assorted items on Cuddy's desk than anything else. Foreman explains that Susan was getting a checkup on her chin implant plastic surgery, so it's totally cool that her MRI was given to someone else. Cuddy slaps House's hand away from her executive desk set and says she can't believe he authorized this. House says it sounds exactly like something he'd go for, and he's right. Cuddy says that guess what? Jane Doe has a surgical pin in her arm, so an MRI would have gone and ripped it right out of her body. Nice going, Foreman. He has the decency to look a little bit ashamed of what he almost did. House says they'll surgically remove the pin and then go ahead with the MRI. No harm, no foul. I hope Jane didn't need that pin, though. Cuddy says that all of this fuss is completely unnecessary for someone with an electrolyte imbalance. House protests that neurologist Foreman believes that Jane has a brain tumor, and that they shouldn't argue with Foreman's more expert opinion. Cuddy agrees to let them go ahead with the surgery and the MRI, but adds that they can't do anything else until they've got Jane's real name and medical history. Foreman starts to ask how the hell they can do that, but House interrupts to throw Foreman's prior words about knowing homeless people back in his face by saying that Foreman is just the man to go get some information out of them. Let the punishment fit the crime, I guess. "Go check out the 'hood, dawg," he says, sounding not unlike Sean Connery in Finding Forrester when he said "you da man now, dawg!" and all Sean Connery fans sighed in sadness. It's a lot cooler when House does it.

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