House
Histories

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | 1 USERS: A+
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Herstories

A woman who looks like she's had better days (although still looks better than the last time we saw her on 24) tries get into a hot party, but the bouncer, who looks a lot like Skeet Ulrich, who definitely has seen better days, doesn't think she has an invite or the mandatory twenty-dollar entrance fee. She claims she has the money, but a look through her large handbag reveals nothing, and she says she must have forgotten to go to the "machine." Apparently, there is a machine that spits out free money in the Princeton area, since you know she doesn't have a bank account. The bouncer asks if she forgot to brush her teeth, as well. Ouch. The woman says she has a friend inside named James, who's blond and friendly and a "big talker" and can give her the money she needs. "I need to see him!" she sobs. The pushover lets her in.

I thought the rave scene was done, but it's still alive and kicking in New Jersey. The woman pushes her way through the young crowd and their spinning glow sticks and bad music and wonders how she got stuck in the opening of a Law & Order from the Chris Noth days. She gets to a door and asks James if he's behind it when a really friendly woman walks up and asks if she can help. Strobe lights start going off, causing all kinds of crazy electrical stuff to go wrong in the woman's brain. Oh, I know how that feels. During a particularly tragic summer of my life, I worked at a Rainforest Café, where "thunderstorms" consisting of sound effects and strobe lights occurred every half-hour and threatened to make the entire staff go into seizures by the end of the shift if we hadn't already killed ourselves from having to hear "Hotstepper," like, every ten minutes. These strobe lights might all be in the woman's head, though, because she's seeing and hearing other things, too. What a bunch of suckers the rest of these rave people are, that they actually spent money on drugs that simulate what this woman is experiencing for free. The next thing we know, the friendly woman is getting a little too friendly as she pops a few pills and starts kissing the woman Skeet told to brush her teeth, passing the pills over to her. The woman spits them out and tries to get out of the raver's clutches, but then the friendly raver's not-as-friendly girlfriend runs up and throws her against the wall, like, come on. It was so obvious that the raver wanted her, not the other way around. The woman's brain shorts out, and the next thing she knows, the police have busted the party and are wrestling with her friend. She leaps to her defense, thereby being wrestled to the ground by the police as well. She gurgles and passes out. The police are seriously annoyed about this, because now they have more paperwork to do.

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