House
Honeymoon

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | 1 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
We'll Never Have Paris

Stacy wanders into the hospital lab with an open cup of coffee. First of all, she's not allowed anywhere near there. Second of all, I worked in a hospital lab and it was so boring and I would have killed to be allowed to bring a cup of coffee in there to keep myself awake but it was AGAINST EVERY RULE KNOWN TO MAN TO HAVE FOOD IN A LABORATORY. We weren't allowed to touch things without a thin layer of latex between our hands and the item, and we had to wear big long coats all the time. Oddly, this attention to safety did not extend to the handling of dry ice, about which we were instructed "not to touch it for very long" in lieu of getting special protective gloves. It doesn't matter anyway, because Stacy's cup is obviously empty. She asks Cameron what House thinks is wrong with Mark, and Cameron says that Alzheimer's is the "most likely" candidate, and I'm pretty sure that's a violation of doctor-patient confidentiality, although drugging the guy probably wasn't all that legal either. Sela Ward tries really, really hard to convey shock and sadness at the news, but since her face is pretty well frozen from all the plastic surgery and Botox, she ends up looking aggressively bored. She says that Mark has had no memory loss, so the diagnosis must be wrong. Cameron doesn't want to talk about boring old medical stuff anymore, so she asks Stacy about House and his leg deal. Stacy immediately deduces that Cameron is "interested" in House. "We went on one date. It...didn't go very well," Cameron says, forgetting to add that House only went out with her because she practically forced him to, and that it didn't go well because he forced her to deal with some hard truths about herself. Stacy says that her first date with House didn't go very well either, and then, a week later, she moved in with him. Cameron tries to do the math in her head to see if it's been over a week since her date. If so, she'd better get started on calling her moving company and subletting her apartment! Cameron asks what House was like before his leg gave out. "Pretty much the same," Stacy says, and I'm sure she'd love to think that. Some test results shoot out of the printer. Cameron reads them, and says that Mark is "clear" of Alzheimer's. "Yeah. That's what I figured," Stacy snots.

Foreman and Chase root through the Warner household, noting that Mark stopped mountain-biking to pursue yoga, which could be a symptom of the mental confusion. I would agree with that, but I'm not exactly impartial, my sole exposure to the practice being when my mom tried it down at the Y and ended up doing something to her back that left her temporarily unable to move very much, meaning that the rest of the family had to fend for ourselves and make our own school lunches. Life was hard for a while. Foreman goes to the kitchen to get his usual B and E snack, only to find a plate of cookies and a note addressed to the "Houseboys," which is what I would call the Cottages if only that stupid Cameron wasn't there to mess it up. Cameron messes everything up. Chase hands Foreman a bottle of amphetamines he found way, way in the back of Mark's desk drawer.

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House

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