I thought (hoped) House would be off getting in the way of things at the art exhibit, but instead, he's made an appointment with Wilson's ex-wife. She shows him a condo he's pretending to be interested in, and he asks her if it's in the same neighborhood where she and Wilson had their first date. Ex-Wife is amazed that House was actually paying attention to that. He wasn't, actually; their first date was in Boston. Ex-Wife tries to show House the all-granite countertops while House pumps her for info on what it's like to date Wilson. Like he doesn't know.
Meanwhile, Wilson and Cuddy are at the art exhibit, only to find a different artist's work there as Wilson supposedly got the dates wrong. The Hockney exhibit they were supposed to see finished on April 20th, and Wilson thought it was going until May 20th. Well, April and May do look a lot alike so I can see what an easy mistake this would be to make. The new artist prefers sexier art. Lots of pictures of women with gags in their mouths. Wilson makes sure to say that this isn't where he'd usually bring someone on a date. His use of the word "date" gets Cuddy's attention. Wilson quickly stammers that this isn't a date. He just thought Cuddy would find the landscapes to be peaceful and relaxing, especially since she's so busy at work. Meanwhile, it's quite obvious that as far as Cuddy is concerned, this is not a date. She's wearing a dress with a turtleneck and long sleeves, which means she's in Goody Cuddy mode and not her usual V-neck tiny blazer mode.
Meanwhile, the Ex says that Wilson never actually asked her out on a date; she was coming out of a bad relationship, and he was trying to be her friend. Ha! That's how my dad got my mom to go out with him. The Ex says that Wilson would take her to museums and plays -- friendly stuff. And Wilson was sincere in his desire for friendship; as Ex says, "James Wilson: carefully calibrating his level of protectiveness for your individual needs." That line doesn't make much sense, but it does get House to asks whether she just compared Wilson to a tampon, which was funny. But kind of gross, when you think about it. The Ex says that she was the one who made the first move.
Cuddy and Wilson have a medical interest in whatever's being displayed on one canvas, which involves a bicycle pump and the large intestine. Draw your own conclusions. I'm guessing we'll see some incarnation of this as a patient of the week in a later season.
Ex continues that Wilson was so nice and considerate and such a "knight in shining armor" to her that she couldn't resist him. By the time Wilson wasn't there for her anymore, it was too late and she was hooked. House asks if she might not have fallen into the Wilson trap if she had had sex with him before she fell in love with him. Ex says she would have, then gets a little TMI and says sex with Wilson was "fantastic." "Nobody works harder to give a woman what she wants," she explains. Wait, are we talking about tampons again?