House
Human Error

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Everybody Leaves

We open on a spending-the-Season-Three-surplus-budget scene where a Coast Guard helicopter tries to save a man drowning in the ocean. This is made more difficult when the man won't let go of his suitcase. The helicopter is running out of fuel, so the rescuer pulls a House-style making-you-worse-to-make-you-better move of dunking the man underwater until he lets go of the case. The rescuer quickly hooks the man up, and the helicopter reels them both in. I'm not exactly sure why they couldn't have reeled him in with the suitcase. Maybe it's just the principle of the thing. Anyway, the man gets in the helicopter, where he joins his already rescued wife. He tells the rescuers in Spanish that she's sick and that the suitcase had her medical records in it. "She needs to go home," a rescuer translates. "No home -- House! I need to see Dr. House!" the man says, suddenly remembering how to speak English.

The couple makes it to PPTH after the credits, but Cuddy can't find House to have him treat them. That's because he's refusing to answer his cell phone while he sits in the cafeteria, spying on Foreman's going-away party. He's wearing his special Stealth Hat and hiding behind a newspaper, but Wilson spots him immediately. Wilson says he's got a patient with "ten different things wrong with her" who risked her life to see the famous Dr. House. Realizing that House is more interested in Foreman's goodbye party, Wilson asks him what he's going to do to stop Foreman from leaving. House says there's nothing he can do -- Foreman is leaving because he doesn't want to turn into House. Why would House want someone like him to stay anyway? Wilson says House can show Foreman that House isn't the evil, uncaring person Foreman thinks he is. I hope not -- I like my House evil and uncaring, for the most part. I don't want him all mushy and heartfelt. Gross. House doesn't think he needs Foreman in his life that badly, but Wilson reminds House that he's had the same guitar since eighth grade, he's lived in the same apartment for fifteen years, and he drives a ten-year-old car (except when he's driving the motorcycle or that car he got from the mob that I guess Wilson forgot about). "You're not good with change," Wilson says. Although...hasn't House had other Cottages? Obviously, they've all left for one reason or another. If House didn't care enough to keep them from quitting, why would he care now?

While Cameron and Chase go over their new patient's symptoms, Foreman sits at a computer and giggles over the latest hilarious email forward he's been sent. I hear there are some really funny ones about Bill and Monica going around. Still. House walks in and makes a point of looking disgusted with Foreman's goodbye presents strewn about the conference table before proceeding with the case. The lack of medical records will make things more difficult, not like they ever really use those things anyway. Chase's guess is a tropical parasite, courtesy of the "dirt-poor country" she came from. Oh, don't underestimate Cuba, Chase. That's how things like the Bay of Pigs happen. House says that Castro's top priorities are "looking great in green" and training doctors. Oh, looks like someone saw an advance screening of Michael Moore's new "documentary"! House thinks they can eliminate anything that would have been treated by antibiotics and focus on stuff that would need high-tech scanning equipment to see, as apparently, high-tech scanning equipment is not one of Castro's top priorities. House sends Cameron off to do an MRI of the woman's head and tells Chase to check out her husband, saying they can rule out any of the woman's symptoms that are the same as the husband's, since those would be from their insane ocean voyage to New Jersey. They leave, and House takes a moment to move closer to Foreman. Foreman turns around and looks at House expectantly, which seems to be enough to make House turn around and walk out without saying anything. This is like the fifth time we've seen House come close to apologizing or whatever to Foreman and then chicken out. I don't care anymore.

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