House
Humpty Dumpty

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All The King's Houses

Over on the other side of town (the dirty, poor side), Cameron and Cuddy are not impressed with the cockroach-infested, ironic leaky-roofedness of the Alfredo family house. First of all, that's a big house for a family that claims to be so poor the kids have to drop out of school to keep them fed. Second of all, just because people are poor doesn't mean they're content to let cockroaches take over their house or that they can't throw a few shingles on the roof to stop the leaks, or afford a bucket to catch the leaking water in. How insulting. Cameron isn't here to discuss socioeconomics and their stereotypical role in the media, though: she wants to know why Cuddy hasn't fired House when they seem to hate each other so much. "I don't hate him," Cuddy says immediately, and Cameron the Spy asks why not. Cuddy gives her a "don't continue this line of questioning" look that Cameron ignores as she says that House is a great doctor, but he's also an asshole. Cuddy reveals that House was actually fired from no less than four hospitals before coming to PPTH (wow), but that "the question is, why did [she] hire him?" I'm thinking it has something to do with that guilt complex we've been hearing so much about, and Cuddy and PPTH's role in House losing his leg.

Over at Casa Cuddy, Foreman asks House how he knew where her spare key was. House -- who's doing a remarkable job of kneeling on floor considering his bad leg -- says he just figured that someone as obsessive as Cuddy would have spare keys hidden all over the place. Apparently, her obsessiveness does not extend to home security. I mean, she could have at least bought one of those really fake-looking rocks with the hidden compartment they sell in the Miles Kimball catalogue. Having Finished examining the kitchen, House calls dibs on searching the bedroom. "This is where it all happens," he says, standing over Cuddy's bed. Then he jumps onto it. I don't thinking testing mattress strength is really part of the information they're trying to collect there.

Back in the Casa Cucaracha, Cameron asks Cuddy whether she knew House when they were both students at University of Michigan (interesting factoid!). Cuddy says that she was an undergrad when he was a med student, but that she knew him. Everyone did. House was a legend. A medical-school legend. Cameron asks whether Cuddy knew him any better than that, and Cuddy snaps, "My god, you're subtle." Seriously, Cameron. If you're going to ask your boss's boss if she and your boss ever did it, you've got to approach it very delicately. Really, you shouldn't approach it at all. But I guess Cameron is very curious. I'm curious about her curiosity about Cuddy's curiosity about House being a curious legend curiouscuriouscurious. Cameron decides to let it go because she obviously won't be getting an answer, and checks under Alfredo's bed, where she finds a dead rat in a trap, because poor people like to keep caught pestilence around for food. That's just Alfredo's midnight snack. Cameron says that the rat is "worse" than cockroaches, but I disagree, especially if Alfredo, like Cuddy, lives in the Southern California section of New Jersey, which, if it's anything like the real Southern California, has cockroaches as big as rats.

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House

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