Kalvin Ryan is the name of our patient. House thinks it's a boring old open-and-shut AIDS complication case, but obviously, it isn't because we still have lots of time left in this episode. The Cottages, who actually bother to read patient files, tell House that all tests for infections were clear, and that Kalvin's T-cell count has actually increased from thirty-five to an adequate infection-fighting two hundred since he changed his medicine. Kalvin should be fine. Foreman grins in the face of House being wrong that this is a routine case, but House has a theory that explains everything and yet will still be totally wrong: Kalvin's new meds could have kicked off an autoimmune disease. He orders the Cottages to do a chest x-ray to find whatever old infection Kalvin had that this autoimmune response is now trying to fight, and to put Kalvin on steroids just because.
Someone unwisely let House into the hospital pharmacy with only Wilson to supervise him. House isn't looking for the elusive Super Vicodin he's heard tell of, but for some blood thinners to give to Stacy's rat. "Death by anti-coagulation," House says triumphantly. Because that's more humane than, say, a rat trap. And there's no other way to poison a rat except to raid a hospital pharmacy. Wilson doubts that a dead rat will send Stacy running into House's waiting arms, but House says that all he's trying to do is get Stacy to admit her feelings for him so that he can go to Cuddy with it and get Stacy fired or re-assigned and therefore out of his hair. Hey, that would have a been a lot easier if he had just said no to Stacy working there in the first place when it came up last season, wouldn't it? This makes about as much sense as thinking that murdering a rat will make you look sexy enough to get someone fired. Or that there's anything anyone can do to thaw Stacy the Ice Queen. House then calls Stacy's exterminator and pretends to be Mark. He cancels the exterminator, saying they no longer need his services. They can send the bill to James Wilson at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Apparently, you can just randomly assign other people to pay your bills for you! How wonderful! Excuse me while I tell my landlord she can get all my future rent payments from the guy who works at the car wash down the street.