House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | 1867 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
I Think I'm Dumb. Maybe Just Happy.

After the break, James is cough medicine-free, feeling better, and sketching a toroidal helicon plasma device, because he's a genius again and that's what geniuses do. Dara tries to be interested and he tries to explain it to her, but there is clearly a disconnect so James sends her away to get him some juice. He immediately turns to Foreman and says the difference between his IQ and Dara's is now greater than that of Dara's and a gibbon's. "Having sex with her would be an act of bestiality," James says. So he's unhappy and an asshole as a genius? But at least he knows it, saying he's a jerk but he owes her "everything" and wants to want her -- but without the cough medicine to stupidify him, he can't. You're telling me that geniuses can't be happy unless they're with other geniuses? What about Marilyn vos Savant? She has the highest IQ in the world (as she's so fond of telling us) and she isn't married to a super-genius man. Of course, it is her third marriage and it's the guy who invented the artificial heart and she uses her world-record intelligence to solve word puzzles submitted by Parade magazine readers and maintain the most boring Twitter account ever, but still. There's hope for you yet, James!

Mystery solved, House heads down to the Clinic to suck up to Cuddy. His latest patient is a woman with vague symptoms who's more interested in asking him questions about the Clinic than getting her medical problem taken care of. House immediately identifies her as a sort of insurance company mystery shopper, sent to check on the quality of medical care whilst undercover as a patient. His proof is her fake medical records that are too legible to be written by a doctor, her line of questioning, and the list of questions he found in her purse when she was off giving a urine sample and he was looking around for gum. "You're an ass," she says. But that could mean profit for her, because House offers her $20 to act like he's an awesome guy on the way out of the exam room.

Cut to House and the woman leaving the exam room with twin smiles on their faces. "Remember: first ice, then heat!" House says. "Thank you, Dr. House," the woman says, very convincing. House would rather pay people $20 each to pretend he's nice than actually be nice. But I'm sure that therapy has been very helpful for him. Unfortunately, he wasted his money this time around, as Cuddy isn't there to witness it. Male nurse says she's gone for the day. House is unable to get his money back from the fake patient, so he has to make do with insulting the male nurse for being a male nurse.

House

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP