House

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Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
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I Think I'm Dumb. Maybe Just Happy.

The next morning, the Cottages meet in the cafeteria and go over the case because House won't be coming in today. Taub says James' kidneys are shot. Hadley tries to diagnose him, but Taub is still bitter about missing Thanksgiving, remarking that he's sure Chase enjoyed his night off. "I don't remember. So I guess I did," Chase says. I don't think blacking out is really that much fun after college. Especially not the next day. Although Chase seems to be enduring his hangover like a soldier. He keeps trying to think of diagnoses so as to stop Taub from asking him concerned questions, but all of them are rejected for one reason or another by the rest of the team. Taub comes up with something called Goodpasture's syndrome, and Foreman orders them to give James immunosuppressants and start him on dialysis. Hadley refuses to do anything without House's say-so, even though House is non-responsive and absent. Foreman says House has thus left things up to them. "Not you," Hadley says pointedly. Foreman didn't say he was in charge, Hadley. Stop it. Taub tells Hadley to save it since the majority rules and they agree with Foreman. I love Taub.

James gets to experience the wonderful world of dialysis, where he's hooked up to a blood-filtering machine for 4 to 6 hours a day in the hopes that his condition will improve. Dara asks what happens if it doesn't, because her faith in these doctors has whittled down to nothing at this point, as well it should. She points out that so far, James' doctors were sure the problem was in his spleen, then his liver, and now his kidneys. "It's definitely his kidneys," Hadley says, like Dara has any reason to believe her.

On the way out, Hadley tries to make conversation with Chase, even though they barely know each other and it's none of her business. "Any word from Cameron?" she asks. Why doesn't she ask Cameron herself? She worked down in the ER for a while so she probably knows her better than she does Chase. Whatever. She tells Chase that she got great results from a therapist she started seeing after her Huntington's diagnosis and she thinks Chase might benefit from some therapy, too. Chase begs to differ, because he's being a twat about all of this. When people reach out to you and try to be nice (especially when it's a self-absorbed asshole from this show), you should really be more grateful and appreciative.

Cuddy does not go to work but instead stops at Wilson and House's apartment. It turns out that after House's conversation with Lucas, he dumped Cuddy because he didn't want to get caught in between House and Cuddy, even though Cuddy tried to explain to him that there is no House and Cuddy. House says he has no idea what he said to Lucas because he was too drunk, but tries to appear appropriately contrite. Cuddy doesn't care. She says she felt bad about scamming House, only for him to "live down to [her] expectations." Well, what did she expect? Either she'd scam him and he'd be heartbroken because he really had changed or she'd scam him and he'd get back at her tenfold because he hadn't. Frankly I don't feel sorry for either of them. House shuts the door on Cuddy and runs right to Wilson, his hangover suddenly much better, and says his evil plan to fake drunkenness and break up Cuddy and Lucas worked after all. He's so proud of himself and looking forward to a future with Cuddy that he doesn't realize that 1. Cuddy blames him for destroying her happiness yet again and will not want to date him and 2. Lucas knows way too much about human behavior and is way too good at his detective job to fall for the fake drunk act and profession of love, which is "the second oldest trick in the book," as House says. "You're right. It's his fault because he's stupid," Wilson says, rolling his eyes. House's Wilson-inspired epiphany comes early this week, and he takes off for PPTH.

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House

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