What's the differential diagnosis for a guy who wants his doctors to kill him? Depends on who you ask: Cameron seems to support it, saying that Ezra made his decision after a lot of thought; House says that Ezra's just depressed and will get over it and want to live again once he's cured by his incredibly confident doctor; Chase thinks it's Ezra's call, not theirs. I'd agree with that except for the fact that Ezra is asking them to get involved. Chase thinks that they should give Ezra a syringe full of morphine, as that's what every doctor he's ever worked with has done. And Chase is nothing if not a joiner, so he supports this. As for Foreman, he (wisely, I think) refuses to have any part of this. Cameron agrees with him, saying that even though she respects Ezra's decision to die, she doesn't actually want to be the one to make it happen. Chase and Foreman continue to argue their sides while Cameron manages to argue both for and against them. As for House, he's just trying to cure the patient and doesn't really care if Ezra wants to live or die. Everyone's pagers go off.
They report to Ezra's room to find Evil Nurse Brenda shoving him back into bed, saying that Ezra somehow managed to fall out of bed with some plastic tubing wrapped around his neck. Nice try, Brenda. Ezra tells the group that he doesn't want to die hooked to machines and too weak to wipe his own ass. "Why would you want to wipe your own ass when you could have someone do it for you?" House asks, answering his own question. Ezra has decided that his undiagnosed illness must be terminal and refuses to consent to any more tests, saying that if anyone even touches him, he will press charges. This has never stopped House before. But House agrees to these conditions, and says that they should all leave Ezra alone, starting with Evil Nurse Brenda, who responds to this with her trademark glare. "GET OUT!" House yells at her. Amazingly, she leaves the room without throwing a poison dart at anyone or even making a wise remark. Disappointing, Evil Nurse Brenda. Maybe she's all tuckered out from trying to kill Ezra.
House takes a seat on Ezra's bed and asks him why he came to House if he doesn't want treatment. Good question. Ezra says that he thought House could "do what needed to be done, if it came to that." Which it apparently has after only two little stress EKG tests. Ezra thought wrong, and House shoves a tube in his face and tells him to breath into it for a lung test. The Cottages step up and push House off of Ezra, so House angrily tells Ezra that they won't do a thing for him, just like he wants: Ezra will die when his lungs fill with fluid in what is sure to be a slow, painful, and terrifying experience. "We don't choose our birth and we don't choose our death," Ezra says. Except that that's exactly what he's trying to do by telling his doctors to kill him and throwing himself off of a bed with a tube tied around his neck. House makes a deal with Ezra: he has twenty-four hours to try to diagnose him using whatever tests are necessary. If he fails, he will kill Ezra himself. I hope he does it with a quick cane smash on the head. I'm sorry, I just don't like Ezra's quitter attitude. "House!" Cameron says, none-too-pleased that this little deal is sure to include a nonstop twenty-four-hour workday from her. But Ezra and his ridiculous early days of plastic surgery pixie nose agree to it.