House
House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | 1176 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Life Is Not A Cabaret

Everyone reports to Ezra's room. "Must be bad news!" Ezra practically laughs. But no, House says, Ezra's bone marrow showed multiple myeloma. The Cottages exchange glances that indicate that this is a surprise lie from House. You'd think House would've tried to think of a disease that Ezra was at least not a world-famous expert on, and, sure enough, Ezra sees right through his lie, saying that his lungs couldn't be suffering from the associated hyperviscosity syndrome since Chase told him that his calcium levels were normal. Way to blow that one, Chase. House covers by saying that Chase is stupid and gets stuff wrong a lot. Ezra also says there isn't any M protein in his urine, which is apparently significant. "Odd presentation," House shrugs. It sure was! That neon yellow piss was practically glowing in the dark! Ezra says it must be odd, since he can tell that Cameron doesn't believe it either. I expect them to cut to her mouthing, "No! It's not true!" and shaking her head behind House's back, but no, she's just standing there apparently looking disbelieving. House asks for twelve more hours. No way, Ezra says. He wants to die RIGHT NOW. And if House won't honor his end of the bargain, then they should discharge Ezra so he can go home and die slowly, painfully, and terrifyingly. Unless he, you know, spares everyone the burden and kills himself. "You're really gonna let me die like that?" asks the man who apparently forgot that throwing himself off a bridge doesn't really take all that much effort.

Everyone sits in their offices and sulks about their failure. Except for Cameron, who's hanging out in Ezra's room on what I'm assuming is suicide watch duty. And House, who's only seen in a recycled shot from only two episodes ago. Either that, or he went home and changed into the same outfit he wore in that episode and stashed his cane somewhere off-screen, only to change back into his original clothes and get his cane back for when he suddenly takes off without telling Foreman and Chase were he's headed.

House

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