House

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In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

A very rich man named Roy Randall heads into his very large mansion to meet with some very important business people about a very big business deal. He ignores their advice and issues orders before abruptly leaving the meeting and tabling the rest of the agenda to go upstairs to his son's room, where we see lots of toys and medical equipment. A doctor tells Roy that his son does not have C. diff as the doctor suspected, so he's at a loss. He recommends sending his son to a hospital. The son, Jack, speaks up to protest this plan and worries that he's going to die, but Roy promises that won't happen and he's "always right." And then the credits kick in without Jack bleeding out of his ass or mouth or anything! How low key.

Roy meets with Cuddy to demand that House treat his son. Cuddy says House is not available, but she highly recommends Foreman, neglecting to mention that his last patient -- a wealthy and prominent leader of an entire country -- totally died. Roy does not want Foreman. He wants House. "Is House in jail?" he asks. "No," Cuddy says after a pause, because when it comes to House, you really do have to take a second to think "wait -- is he in jail? Or was that last season?" before answering. She tries to plug Cameron and Chase as "House's most veteran associates," but even she doesn't sound like she's buying that. Roy sure isn't. He says his son is dying and he wants the best doctor to treat him. And that doctor is House. "So unless he's dead, comatose, or insane, I want him treating my son today," he says. Funnily enough, House has actually been all three of those things. But then he got better and we were supposed to forget they ever happened. So House Jack shall have!

Cuddy heads to the meeting room and explains that while Jack is technically Foreman's patient, House will be making all of the decisions. Foreman bristles, saying he'll have none of the responsibility and all of the liability. House very much likes this deal. It just gets worse for Foreman, because he also has to prepare Dibala's case for the weekly Morbidity and Mortality conference, much to Foreman and Chase's obvious alarm. They both try to get out of it, saying they're busy and the case wasn't a big deal anyway, but Cuddy says it's "worth discussing" and leaves. I don't know why Chase and Foreman look so surprised about this. Did they really think that misdiagnosing an African dictator who then died because of it -- probably making headlines worldwide -- wouldn't attract some attention from the PPTH community? Cameron turns the team's attention back to the case, and House says that seventeen doctors have tested Jack for just about everything and ruled just about everything out. He thinks the first thing they should do is start from scratch with a new physical and medical history.

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House

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