House wonders what the "alpine butterfly" is that Maggie's emails say she wants to try. "Try bondage," Taub guesses, suddenly interested. House says he tried bondage once, but all that happened was he got tied to a bed and was forced to listen to his mistress drone on and on about how tough it is to be a Dean of Medicine. Well, it's nice to know that Cuddy's still doing interesting things in her life, even if they all have to take place off-camera. House suddenly bursts into laughter when he comes across a Garfield cartoon a "friend" sent Maggie. I put "friend" in quotes because no real friend would send you a Garfield strip unless it's that one from like 1987 where Garfield got stuck hanging off the edge of a table by his upper teeth. That was a good one. "That cat sure does love lasagna," House giggles. That was my favorite part of this episode, and it ends all too quickly when Agnes very maturely slams the laptop down on House's hand, probably breaking it. It's a Macbook Pro, too. Those are really expensive. Agnes really doesn't care about other people's feelings at all. Agnes snaps at House to stop "obsessing" over Maggie's emails, to which House says it was his obsession with Maggie's emails that led him to discover she has sarcoidosis. She sold an almost new Stairmaster last year and cancelled a hiking trip. House guesses that she was suffering from sarcoidosis-related joint pain. That's some pretty flimsy evidence to pronounce your case solved on, but House opens his gift to find the iPhone you know he bought for himself as a rather transparent ploy to make everyone buy him sweet presents.

The Cottages do a lavage to prove that Maggie has sarcoidosis (which she won't, since it's way too early in this episode for that) and wonder who bought House the iPhone. Except Agnes, whose mad House-knowing skillz means she already knows that he bought it for himself.

Ah, but not quite! He didn't buy it at all -- he just stole it from Wilson, who says he was looking for that iPhone all morning. That's still not as long as he probably has to look to find a clear calling signal on one of those things. Wilson thinks the Cottages will see right through House's little ploy, and House says that they probably will. But as long as there's a shred of doubt left in their minds that one of them got the iPhone for House, his little team-destroying plan will have succeeded. And that means sweet presents.