And it wouldn't be Christmas (and...it's not, but whatever) without a Christmas-music montage, where we get to see Cameron for one second at the holiday party. She and Chase hang out with their replacements and tell them about all the lines they used to have. House just walks by them like a big old limping Scrooge, deigning only to give Foreman a slow-motion nod on his way out.

Shockingly, House ends up at a packed church. But no, he hasn't found God. He found the invitation the hooker left him and decided to take her up on it. And her "donkey show" is actually a Christmas pageant, in which she plays the Virgin Mary. She enters the stage on a sick donkey, somehow spots House in the crowd, and flashes that creepy hooker smile. House returns it with one of his own. Not only does he get to watch a hooker play the Virgin Mary, but then he's probably going to have sex with her. For free! I'm just glad we aren't watching a real donkey show, although even that might have been less inappropriate than the episode we just saw.

What ails the staff at PPTH? We've got the diagnoses.

You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, which she occasionally updates when she's bored at work. Or you can try your luck emailing her at saramorrison@gmail.com with news that some Nigerian king died and she stands to gain ten percent of his fortune if she hands over her bank account info.