House
Joy To The World

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Bully For You

Hadley goes to see Foreman instead. He thanks her for the gift. She tells him what Janice said, and Foreman doesn't see a problem with telling her to get over her nausea, nor is he willing to call her and apologize. This earns him a "you're acting like House" from Hadley. Obviously, he strongly objects to this. He says that he wasn't being cruel or manipulative with Janice. Hadley says he kind of was being manipulative when he told her to get over it, since it got her to get serious about the drug trial. He did that to help Hadley. The only way he thinks he can help Janice is to make sure she follows her regimen. Being nice and compassionate apparently doesn't go hand in hand with that. Hadley doesn't like this at all. "You're not acting like House. You are like him," she says. Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh snap. But the joke's on her, because now she has to get House a day spa gift certificate, too.

Whitney stupidly brings her fiancé Jeff to the Clinic to seek out House's expert opinion that it is possible to get pregnant from a toilet seat. Oh, give it up, Whitney. You cheated on your fiancé and did it stupidly, so now you're pregnant. Deal with the situation as it stands and stop trying to make it worse! Why do you want to save your relationship? Jeff is clearly not someone you want to be with or you wouldn't have cheated on him in the first place. Unlike that other guy, House isn't going to throw Whitney a bone here. He will not tell Jeff that Whitney could have gotten pregnant from a toilet seat. Whitney begs him to come up with something that would explain how her virgin self could have gotten pregnant, and House says there was a case once of a Civil War soldier who was shot in the crotch (the South fought dirty) and both his ball and the bullet went flying into some poor woman's uterus, impregnating her. Whoa, is that true? I'll have to look it up. Sadly, Wikipedia is of no help this time, as a search for "Civil War pregnancy" pulls up an article about the Rwandan genocide, and that is not something I want to read about. Snopes did come through, though. It's an urban legend, and it's not true. Jeff looks at Whitney, wondering if she could have been shot without telling him. Doubtful. "Also maybe she cheated on you," House says. Jeff is upset. Whitney says they do "other stuff" in bed -- maybe Jeff's sperm "made it up there somehow." House says it's more likely that another man's penis made it up there somehow. Jeff demands a paternity test. House mutters to Whitney to lie to Jeff that an amino paternity tests this early in the fetus' development is dangerous, but Whitney surprises House by insisting on a test.

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House

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