House
Kids

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | 1 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Moral Morales

House enters the hospital to find it teeming with coughing people and medical personnel. House immediately turns around to leave, but Cuddy has already spotted him. She explains that the pre-credits judge had a "virulent" form of bacterial meningitis, thereby exposing the twenty-five hundred people in attendance to it as well. What I want to know is, is there a form of meningitis that isn't "virulent"? All area hospitals are packed with the exposed, who are all being a bunch of hypochondriacs with the coughing since I don't think there's any way that meningitis could have spread that widely and that quickly, and this one is no exception. They need everyone they can get to see and clear all the exposed people. House says that since they already have the diagnosis, he won't be needed and will just get in everyone's way, but Joe the Security Guard was apparently briefed on what to expect and stops him from leaving. Cuddy says that no one leaves the quarantine area without a blue slip, meaning that House is trapped in his own Personal Hell of endless hypochondriac patients for the foreseeable future. Exposing twenty-five hundred people to a fatal disease just to get back at House may seem a little extravagant, but Vogler said himself that he likes to do things big.

Patient #1 has a fever of one hundred and two, earning him a trip to the second floor, because if you're going to catch a virulent form of an already fatal disease, you might as well get a little bit of view as a consolation prize. The patient strolls away, not seeming at all upset about his possible future as a bloody-eared corpse.

Wilson's patient fares better, getting a clean bill of health that entitles her to two red pills and one blue "I'm healthy, let me out of here before I actually do catch meningitis!" slip.

House's next patient is meningitis-free, so she gets a special bonus insta-diagnosis that her mischievous teenage daughter has been borrowing her clothes to look older and sneak into bars. House figures all this out because of an old stain on the woman's otherwise freshly dry-cleaned clothes, and he's totally wrong. The annoyed woman says she doesn't have a daughter. This just leaves her with Option #2, which was House's little joke about her husband being a secret cross-dresser. Whoops, but I think we all could have seen this coming. Ain't no way a rebellious teenage girl is going to borrow her mother's clothes, no matter how many bars it will get her into.

Chase's patient has also been assigned to the second floor, and he takes the news a bit more realistically, with a slight freak-out that he's going to die. Chase sends him off on his way.

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House

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