House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | 1491 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Knight Fail

Shannon tells Sir William that King Miles promised to "stop by later." Wow, King Miles does not give a shit. Sir William says he'd rather King Miles not come at all because he doesn't want him to see his knight sick like this. Shannon asks if she should leave too, then, and Sir William says no a bit too quickly. Of course, Hadley's there to butt in. "I think he's saying it's different with you, Shannon," she says, much to Sir William's horror. "Uh, it's a guy thing. They don't like showing weakness in front of each other," she adds. Way to dig yourself out of the hole you just created, Hadley! With that, she asks Shannon to wait outside while she collects some biopsy material. "Don't hurt him," Shannon asks. "He's safe with me," Hadley assures her. Yeah, but his secrets clearly aren't. As soon as Shannon leaves, Hadley urges Sir William to tell Shannon how he truly feels, thinking that Shannon has feelings for him, too. Oh, mind your own business, Hadley. Don't you hate love? Sir William says knights are supposed to be selfless. Hadley reminds him that while that might be true in theory, it's never been true in practice. "If you want to be king, sometimes you have to be willing to take what's yours," she says. Methinks Hadley watches a little too much of The Tudors. "She's not mine," Sir William says. "She's not his either. Not yet," Hadley says. Ah yes, weren't the medieval times when women were thought of as chattel just the greatest?

Moving right along, Wilson and Sam wait for House to arrive for their dinner. Wilson is justifiably nervous, but Sam doesn't see how bad House can be in the middle of a restaurant. She doesn't get a chance to finish her sentence, though, because one of the most awesome things in the world just happened: House walks up with his dinner date, who is a transvestite prostitute. And House is fucking beaming right now because he knows that this is one of his greatest ever moments. House clearly got his transvestite prostitute from a much better area than my neighborhood, where the transvestite prostitutes are haggard and have terrible wigs and are constantly fighting with each other near the bus stop. No, this transvestite prostitute is classy. And her name is Sara! YES! This is the second week in a row we've had a Sara! I DEMAND SARAS EVERY WEEK ON THIS SHOW FROM NOW ON. "It's so nice to meet you! Horse has -- " "House," House corrects. " - House has told me all about you!" she/he says. Fantastic!

House

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