House

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Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
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Knight Fail
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Either we're traveling back in time or House is going to the Ren Faire this week. I honestly don't know which idea I like better. There's some sort of tournament going on, and a woman selects "Sir William" to fight against one "Sir Horace the Black," who I am totally cheering for. He is badass. Both men are in full armor. They hit each with swords for a while until Sir Horace the Black is able to get Sir William's sword away from him and knock him over. Sir William manages to get back up, take back his sword, and hit Sir Horace until he gives up. The crowd cheers for Sir William, whose moment of triumph comes to an unfortunate end when his eyes turn red and he collapses. The King whips out his cell phone and calls for an ambulance.

A completely naked House searches in the kitchen drawer for his trusty ibuprofen. Why are Hugh Laurie's nipples so far down on his chest? Does he have really high shoulders? Something just doesn't look quite right there. Although I'm sure many other ladies aren't complaining. Oh, and here's something that's even wronger -- Lucas is going to be in this episode. Gross. Boring. House makes his way to the fridge, at which point someone off-camera walks into the room. "You're new," he says, seemingly unbothered. "You're naked," says one Cynthia Watros as the camera pans to reveal her. I love Cynthia Watros because a long long time ago she played this awesome crazy lady on Guiding Light named Annie. And I guess she was also on some show called Lost? "And, for the record, a little bit cold," House replies. She introduces herself as "Sam" and says she thought no one was home after Wilson (or "James," as she insists on calling him) left for work early. How could Wilson have had a date and brought a girl home without House knowing? He's really slipping. House offers her a bowl of cereal ("Colo's Colios" -- like Cheerios but not really!). She offers him an apron to wear. He probably shouldn't need much more than a pot holder though, what with it being so cold and all. And since when was House such an exhibitionist? Even if he thought no one was home, there's still the matter of all of the windows in his apartment through which anyone could catch a glimpse of him. House dons the apron and Sam says she and Wilson apparently thought House was staying in New York last night. Why would he do that? Obviously, he didn't. He studies Sam as she gathers her things and says she'd like to pretend this never happened.

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House

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