House

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Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
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Knight Fail

Sometime later, they're laughing over wine and the remnants of their desert soufflé. "My mom's recipe," House claims; "everything else I got off the web." Wilson proposes a toast to that, allowing House to add, "where I found the lamb ragout and you two found each other. Again." Sam says there was some stuff in between, like "divorce, depression, therapy, more therapy, then the internet." Because those are the kinds of things that make a new relationship blossom! Wilson's had enough wine to let his guard down and go to the bathroom, leaving Sam with House. "I cook in peace," House promises. Wilson leaves, and House smiles at Sam and says, "you're a cold-hearted bitch who ripped his heart out." He says there's no way he'll let her back into Wilson's life to do the damage that she did last time around. Sam takes this in, and then asks what the dinner was about, like that matters. "Phase 2 of getting to know my enemy," House explains. I'm pretty sure revealing said phases to the enemy was not in the phase book, but okay. Sam just shrugs and tells House he's wrong about her but she's glad he said something so that she only has to pretend to like him when Wilson is around. House says he feels the same way. Then they hear Wilson exiting the bathroom. "And scene!" House says, and sits back and drinks some wine like nothing happened. I wish Sam had done that too, but she just stays there with an expression on her face like House just farted in her puppy's face and then ran it over with his motorcycle.

House heads into work the next day, where the Cottages inform him that they found no lead in Sir William's biopsy and his heart is getting worse. "There's only one thing left to do!" House says. What could that be? Well, the strums of a lute tell us that YES! House is going to the Ren Faire. And in costume, because why not? I'm sure detailed medieval clothing like that is easy to find. Oh, but he made Hadley come with him, and she is also in medieval dress. She says this is a waste of time, but House begs to differ. "Just because Wilson's acting stupid doesn't mean we are," Hadley says. Huh? Mind your own business, wench! House asks if she thinks Wilson is making a mistake, like when did he care about Hadley's opinion on anything? "Of course," she says. Um, then WHY DID YOU ENCOURAGE HIM TO DATE SAM LAST WEEK?!?! Does Hadley secretly hate Wilson? House ties this all in to the patient of the week, saying that Wilson naturally lives by his own code of "honor and chivalry." Yeah, like the one where he cheated on like all of his wives? Please. Hadley thinks that makes Wilson a "great guy." House thinks it makes him a "sucker and a target." Yeah, like for his "best friend" who makes him buy him an apartment that will screw up his friendship with his boss and then makes him fill it with furniture. With that, House wanders off towards the apothecary shop.

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House

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