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Pants Afire

Back at the hotel, the author thinks his (wet) dream came true when Cameron knocks on his door. Then he sees Chase glaring in the background. Cameron knows that Jordan was in his hotel room last night. When he denies it, she slams open the door and demands to know if would really cover his ass at the expense of a young girl's life? The author glares at her and shuts the door firmly. Chase groans at Cameron's temper and then rounds on her because he knows her anger is really directed at him. He repeats that HE IS NOT HAVING AN AFFAIR. Cameron glares back at him that she was not talking about Chase. She thinks an overdose of roofies could account for all of Jordan's symptoms.

At the hotel, Cuddy's babysitter bailed, and she's hanging out outside with her daughter when Wilson finds her. He not-at-all subtly asks about '80s night, and Cuddy explains that House was very sweet, but as the baby she's holding can attest to, she's a mother now. She needs someone she can rely on. House tries, but he's not reliable.

The team is finally back at the hospital, and their patient has broken out in red patches that Foreman blames on bleeding behind the kidneys. So it's not roofies. Cameron thinks it must be a toxic reaction, but then she mutters that the dirty old comic book artist must have slipped her something. Too bad they will never get the truth out of that rat bastard! Chase mutters back that the guy is an illustrator, not a drug dealer. Like OH MY GOD, just tell her you're a murderer already, so we can stop listening to this bickering! It's bad enough when mommy and daddy do it, I can't have it here on my escapist medical drama, too! Cameron decides that the only way they will be able to get the truth out of their lying patient is to drug her! To think House is missing all this fun. Chase thinks she's mad at him, but taking out on the author by thinking that he is lying when it's really that Cameron thinks Chase is lying, and she wants to drug the girl to get her tell the truth about what the lying guy did to her. Good thing Chase is so smart, because I would never have been able to string that together. Foreman agrees with Cameron. Truth serum, don't fail me now!

House sits at a table surrounded by a veritable shooting gallery of minis from the hotel fridge. Does he still drink? He has grape soda, which I know from experience, does not mix with anything, and he pours some for Wilson on the premise that one dollar grape soda tastes better when you're told it is worth ten dollars. Wilson sits across from him, swilling his over-priced soda, and tells House that he can get Cuddy if he proves he is reliable. Wilson suggests that House scamper down to her room and offer his au pair services. House is unconvinced of this tactic, and Wilson finds himself suddenly at a loss for words. He tries to speak, slurs, and then realizes: House drugged him. He denounces him and says Cuddy is better off without him. House kindly catches his head before it smacks the table. The old House wouldn't have done that at all.

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