Last Resort

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C | 1 USERS: C-
PPTH Security Fails Again

Cuddy will be performing the transfer in slow motion to a funky beat. She brings in a wheelchair. Mr. Yellowteeth is placed in it while Migraine Man stumbles around. House gives her the files and the blood, and she gives him the Capsaicin. They exchange what may or may not be a meaningful look.

Now it's time to find a guinea pig to test the Capsaicin. House asks if anyone has neuralgia, but no one does. The kid asks how bad it will hurt, and House accuses him of trying to be a hero. Kid says he gets beaten up a lot, so he's good with pain. We will never learn why he gets beaten up a lot, but it probably has to do with the attitude he showed when House wrote four diagnoses on the wall. Nurse NotCarla thinks the Kid is too young, and points out that the Capsaicin could cause muscle damage. At this, House puts his finger on his nose. The others follow suit, although a rousing game of "not it!" would have also be funny. Oops! The Neanderthal wasn't paying attention, so he gets the test. Or does he? Because guess who volunteers herself instead? That's right -- Hadley. She's willing to endure the pain for the extra camera time.

Hadley's self-serving self-sacrifice earns her an earful from House as he prepares her for the injection in the small of her back. He accuses her of taking risks with her health beyond drugged-up sex with hot girls. "They're patients. I'm a doctor," Hadley says. Yeah, that didn't seem to matter when the patient was a one night stand you accused of faking her symptoms or a man in desperate need of a simple refill on his migraine medicine. House says she has a "degenerative drug unfriendly illness," although I'm not sure if he means that the illness is unfriendly to degenerative drugs or if it's a degenerative illness that's unfriendly to drugs in general or if it's a degenerative drug illness and Hadley is unfriendly. "Everything's not some fascinating character flaw," Hadley says. Too true. This, for example, is a character flaw that's very boring. With that, Hadley feels the effects of Capsaicin and whines in pain. House's sympathetic response? "I woulda bet money you had herpes."

With that, he turns to Jason with his syringe and tries once again to figure out what pushed Jason over the edge. This time, he guesses that Jason's illness caused him to get fired. Jason says he just wants his answer without saying why. Then the pain he feels from the Capsaicin indicates that his illness is still undiagnosed.

Kumar and Taub enter Jason's apartment. Kumar notes several thousand dollars worth of unpaid medical bills on Jason's desk. Taub says he has debt too, but he isn't taking hostages for it. Why does Taub have debt? Isn't he kind of rich? Perhaps he's just really bad with money, as evidenced by how he didn't notice when his wife squirreled away $85,000 in a secret bank account. Kumar says it's not an excuse for Jason's actions, but in America there are millions of people in debt like this, so the chances that at least one of them will try something like this is high. Way to watch John Q, Kumar. Meanwhile, Taub checks out a picture of Jason's hot mom.

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