House

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Sara M: B | 1 USERS: A-
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Sail Away

She stands outside the office of her dean or professor or whoever it is that medical students turn their procedure books in to but doesn't go in or hand in the book. Her roommate sees her and recommends that Martha intern with House, saying that Martha is weird, what with her obsession with making paper airplanes, the Einstein Museum, and facial symmetry, but House seems to be okay with Martha's eccentricities, inability to talk to people, love of arguing with anyone over any point, and "peculiar fashion sense." Martha seems to disagree with her roommate's last point, somehow thinking that the stuff she wears is mainstream even though no one else in all of PPTH is wearing, like, a giant novelty clown necktie and purple leggings, and the roommate's insult speech is cut short by the arrival of a large white chicken down the hall. Wilson runs after it, grabs it, and runs out of sight. "I think it's an Australorp," Martha sighs. A white Australorp? My research on BackyardPoultry.com (why are there so many websites devoted to raising chickens in your backyard? Can't these people just get a dog?) says that white Australorps are very rare. They're usually black, so Wilson probably paid a pretty penny for that thing.

Martha checks on Kendall. Hadley and Foreman are doing some procedure on her. Martha asks them why House and Wilson both have chickens, and Hadley explains that they have a bet to see who can keep a chicken in his office the longest without being caught by security. Ha! Do they have ten years to wait for this bet to play out? Because it will be at least that long before PPTH's useless security team notices farm animals in the hospital. Foreman is uncharacteristically nice to Martha, saying he's glad she's interning with them because they could use the fresh perspective she brings by refusing to play by House's rules. Martha says she has to play by House's rules if she wants to become an intern; either she lies in the procedure book and takes credit for the LP House did, or she lies to House by getting a real LP to put in the book. Hadley says lying about a lie is "almost telling the truth," and Martha agrees that would be the better option. You see? If you're determined to tell the truth at all times, you can rationalize almost anything in your own mind. Martha says she just needs to find a patient who needs an LP. Hadley says she knows of someone.

Cut to Martha doing an LP on Hadley, which is shockingly nice of Hadley to do. I guess she's feeling generous since Martha isn't telling the others that she didn't go to rehab? She will have to field questions from Martha about it, though, as she asks Hadley why she lied. Hadley says she doesn't want the others to know the real reason she was gone, but if she just told them she didn't want to tell then they would dig and dig until they figured it out, so she had to lie. "House's people have personalities that range from nosy to 'pardon me while I do this cavity search,'" Hadley says. Martha asks if someone who isn't like that will fit in on House's team. Hadley pauses before saying probably not, unless House wants his team to have that kind of person on it. That's not really an answer, Hadley. But you are being much more likeable than usual this week, so I will let it pass.

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House

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