Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | 1 USERS: A-
Sail Away

In the locker room, Martha, her roommate, and the horrible Cruz prepare to go home. Um, since when do they let interns go home? Shouldn't they basically be living at PPTH? Cruz offers to take both women out for drinks, but the roommate says she doesn't want to go anywhere with Cruz and Martha has to stay behind and do some work for House. Cruz is so jealous of Martha, saying he would kill for the chance to work for House. He adds that he would actually kill Martha so he could disguise himself as her by wearing her skin. He's clearly done way too much thinking about this, and Martha and her roommate leave quickly.

Martha spends the night running tests in the lab. Then she heads for the meeting room with a pile of books and starts reading them without even turning the light on. Also, there's a chicken in House's office again. Later that night, Wilson creeps into House's office holding a burlap sack. He sees Martha and waves at her before lifting the blanket over the chicken coop to find a fake chicken playing chicken sound effects inside. At this point, House locks the door, trapping Wilson inside. He takes a second to gloat before limping off to Wilson's office to do something horrible to his chicken. Martha doesn't seem willing or able to unlock the door for Wilson, so he has to run out onto the balcony. Martha watches him climb over walls and run into trees before coming up with a diagnosis for Kendall.

She heads for Kendall's room and asks her if she's gotten sick after eating poultry lately. Kendall says she actually did after eating a "pheasant in a can" her dad bought her as a joke. First of all, that is a stupid joke. Second of all, just because you happen to own a pheasant in a can doesn't mean you should eat it. And they're trying to convince us that this girl is mature enough to sail around the world when she can't even figure out that pheasant in a can is the food of nightmares? Martha says she thinks the pheasant gave Kendall salmonella enteritis and if she's right, it will still be hanging out in Kendall's bones somehow. She feels around for tell-tale tender bones while telling Kendall that if it is salmonella, Kendall will be "shipshape" after some antibiotics and still able to sail. She then asks Kendall if she's always wanted to sail. Kendall says that she didn't start until she was 10 years old, and didn't even like it at first. So why did she continue? Did her parents make her do it? She says there are still a lot of things she hates about sailing, but "doing what you love means dealing with things you don't." She has yet to tell us what she actually likes about sailing, though, other than getting that world record. Suddenly, she cries out in pain when Martha touches her left arm.

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