House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | 1852 USERS: B
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Piece of Cake

Taub and Kumar run a CT scan on Emmy. In the booth, Kumar asks plastic surgeon Taub if a leaking breast implant can cause joint pain. Taub says no, but since their patient doesn't have implants or joint pain, he's not sure why the question is being asked. Kumar reveals that he has another patient. In fact, he has a lot of other patients, as he set up an online second opinion clinic. People email him with their symptoms and he emails them back with his opinion. He says he's able to do four or five cases during his lunch hour and earn two thousand dollars. Taub says that must be illegal, but Kumar has done his research. It's only illegal in nine states, and New Jersey isn't one of them. Taub finds it odd that Kumar's never mentioned this before, since he apparently usually fills them in on the most mundane details of his life, like when he renewed his subscription to National Geographic. Oh, Kumar: you're old enough now to buy real porn. You don't have to rely on NatGeo's pictures of topless African tribeswomen. Taub smells a rat, and asks if Kumar would mind if he told House about this. Kumar has to admit that he set up the clinic under House's name. "It's Dr. Gregory House's second opinion clinic with medical advice direct from Dr. Gregory House," he says. That's ballsy. It also explains Cuddy's complaint about House getting only half the cases he usually does. It doesn't explain why Jason the hostage taker didn't use the online second opinion clinic himself. Taub's diagnosis: "you're insane. With two days to live." Kumar doesn't seem to think that House is capable of using the internet, though, and says House will never find out. Taub says he'll tell him -- unless Kumar cuts him in for thirty percent of his profits. "That's blackmail!" Kumar says. "Yessss," Taub responds proudly. Kumar doesn't get a chance to answer before Taub finds something on the CT scan. It's not a tumor, but it is evidence of gastric bypass surgery. Taub was right about Emmy being a cheater all along. I guess he had to be, since he wouldn't stop harping on it.

After the break, House and the half-team are back in his office with a picture of Emmy that was obviously taken before her surgery. Taub shakes his head at her cheating ways, but shouldn't they have done some kind of external scan of Emmy and seen her surgical scar in the first place? I guess it's a very small scar, but what about the skin removal surgeries she would have had to have? Taub says Emmy somehow managed to have her gastric bypass surgery records pulled from her medical file so no one would find out and her DVD sales would stay strong. Meanwhile, Cuddy is trying to talk on the phone and having a hard time with the loud differentialating in the room. She asks them to move the session elsewhere, but House is specifically doing it in this room to annoy her, so he has no intention of leaving. He asks where Foreman and Hadley are, and Taub says the first appointment in the drug trials is an all-day affair.

House

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