House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | 1852 USERS: B
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Piece of Cake

Kumar and Taub test poop. Kumar says "the boob lady" emailed him again. Now she's suffering from chronic fatigue. She's convinced that her implants are responsible for her health problems. I wouldn't discount it; I saw this special on MTV once where some girl convinced her parents to get her new boobs for her 18th birthday and they gave her lupus. The fake boobs gave her lupus, that is. Not her parents. Although they did, too, indirectly. Taub is convinced that fake boobs can't cause any of The Boob Lady's symptoms, and Kumar agrees. But now The Boob Lady is threatening that if he doesn't figure out what's affecting her health, she'll complain to the licensing board. I'm sure the licensing board will take a woman with fresh fake boobs who consults online doctors very seriously.

Their conversation ends when House suddenly appears in the lab behind them. The results will take another hour, which is too long for House to wait. Instead, he says they're looking for poop with a high fat content. Fat floats. There's a Monty Python reference. And then House drops the droppings into a pitcher of water. If the log floats, Kumar's diagnosis is correct. If it sinks, it's back to the drawing board. That can't be the best scientific way to do this. In fact, I remember reading once that scientists don't really know what makes a poop float or sink, or which one is healthier. Don't ask me what I was reading or why, because I seem to have blacked it out. But I do remember that. Anyway, the poop sinks, so House decides to reconsider Taub's apnea diagnosis.

So while Emmy sleeps with one of those apnea masks on (not sure why she would need one BEFORE they've figured out whether or not she has apnea), Kumar and Taub check out The Boob Lady's CT scan, looking for a possible diagnosis. All Taub can come up with is that The Boob Lady's plastic surgeon did a bad job and she's lopsided. Then he notices that their actual patient has flatlined. Oh wait -- she hasn't. She just decided to leave. I guess I wouldn't want to sleep in that bed either, knowing that Chase and Cameron went at it in there once.

House

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