House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | 1 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Piece of Cake

Once they've finished crapping their pants again, House informs them that TBL was never dead. In fact, she was never sick. She's wearing dead lady makeup and a big ol' smile as she high-fives House for a job well done. House says the hooker he apparently hired for this job put on a great performance. The CT scan she sent to Kumar was actually from a different patient three years ago. The hair falling out was fake, and Chase and Cameron were playing along this whole time. It's a little bit sitcom, but I don't care. That was fun. Kumar is just relieved that he isn't going to jail for murder, and says he'll take the website down immediately. Not so fast, House says. That website is making lots of money -- just not for Kumar. Chase is getting twenty-five percent, and House is now getting fifty. Kumar will get twenty-five percent after he's paid House back the three grand for hiring TBL for two days. Taub, apparently, gets off scot-free. Except for his pants being crapped in. Twice. The two Cottages take off, and TBL informs House that he's got three hours of time left. "Do I?" he says with a smile.

And so, while "Coconut" plays on the soundtrack, Cuddy de-elevators with a smile on her face and love in her heart. Sigh. This isn't going to go well at all. Damn it. She heads for House's office, only to see him flirting with TBL. The camera lingers on Cuddy's face as her heart breaks for like the fifth time in the last three episodes. She turns around and leaves. House is an idiot. He's given up more not being in a relationship with Cuddy than he would have if he hadn't chickened out and taken the plunge.

You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, which she occasionally updates when she has something to complain about. Or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com, especially if you're thinking of opening an online recap clinic and putting her name on it.

What ails the staff of PPTH? We've got it all figured out.

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House

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