Oh, insult to injury! Not only is Cuddy in House's office, but she's also playing with his giant ball, and doing it badly, clumsily bouncing it on his desk with no rhythm. House enters the office and says they'll have to share the desk. Cuddy says that's fine and starts rearranging the desk accordingly. That wasn't the reaction House was expecting. Taub and Kumar come running into the room to report that Emmy's heart stopped during the test, but they were able to shock it back to life. Kumar says the test didn't set the heart stoppage off, and EKG results were normal. So now they have a patient with lung and heart problems that have nothing to do with her lungs or heart. Kumar guesses a carcinoid tumor. House tells them to find it and get rid of it. He then returns to his showdown with Cuddy.
Taub and Kumar run a CT scan on Emmy. In the booth, Kumar asks plastic surgeon Taub if a leaking breast implant can cause joint pain. Taub says no, but since their patient doesn't have implants or joint pain, he's not sure why the question is being asked. Kumar reveals that he has another patient. In fact, he has a lot of other patients, as he set up an online second opinion clinic. People email him with their symptoms and he emails them back with his opinion. He says he's able to do four or five cases during his lunch hour and earn two thousand dollars. Taub says that must be illegal, but Kumar has done his research. It's only illegal in nine states, and New Jersey isn't one of them. Taub finds it odd that Kumar's never mentioned this before, since he apparently usually fills them in on the most mundane details of his life, like when he renewed his subscription to National Geographic. Oh, Kumar: you're old enough now to buy real porn. You don't have to rely on NatGeo's pictures of topless African tribeswomen. Taub smells a rat, and asks if Kumar would mind if he told House about this. Kumar has to admit that he set up the clinic under House's name. "It's Dr. Gregory House's second opinion clinic with medical advice direct from Dr. Gregory House," he says. That's ballsy. It also explains Cuddy's complaint about House getting only half the cases he usually does. It doesn't explain why Jason the hostage taker didn't use the online second opinion clinic himself. Taub's diagnosis: "you're insane. With two days to live." Kumar doesn't seem to think that House is capable of using the internet, though, and says House will never find out. Taub says he'll tell him -- unless Kumar cuts him in for thirty percent of his profits. "That's blackmail!" Kumar says. "Yessss," Taub responds proudly. Kumar doesn't get a chance to answer before Taub finds something on the CT scan. It's not a tumor, but it is evidence of gastric bypass surgery. Taub was right about Emmy being a cheater all along. I guess he had to be, since he wouldn't stop harping on it.