House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | 1 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Piece of Cake

Taub gets to give Emmy the good news about her upcoming stool sample, as well as a big metal bowl for her to put it in. "Put some of what you're full of in here," he says. That's a bit harsh, so Emmy points out that Taub is short, and asks him if he would get a surgery that made him taller if such a thing existed. He says he would, but he wouldn't then turn around and tell the Lollipop Guild that proper diet and exercise will increase their heights. Good point, Taub, although I'm not sure why you feel the need to argue this with your patient. Defensive, Emmy says she's just telling people how to get healthy. Taub points out that the way she's showing them is one that she was unwilling to do herself. True! Emmy says she was willing to do "anything" to get thin, including hormones and crash diets, but they didn't work. She didn't mention proper diet and exercise, though, so I guess she really didn't try everything. Emmy says the surgery made her healthy and happy. Just because you're thin, doesn't mean you're healthy. Taub says he's pretty sure Emmy's happiness comes more from being pretty than anything else. Don't forget all the money she's made as a fitness instructor! Money creates happiness, too!

Cuddy is back in her own office, looking at swatches for the redesign. Wilson stops by because he is always up for some interior decorating. And for some psychoanalyzing. He asks Cuddy why she chose House's office of all places to work. Cuddy defends her decision, saying his office is big and he doesn't use it to see patients like most other doctors do. All he does in there, Cuddy thinks, is bounce a ball against the wall. "That ball saves lives," Wilson says. Then he moves off the script House gave him and tells her to stop pretending that she didn't choose House's office to be closer to House. "Sitting near him and hoping isn't going to get it done," he says, flipping through the swatches. Wilson loves swatches. Cuddy threatens to take over Wilson's office instead, but he cockily says she won't. Cockily ... and perhaps a little bit disappointed?

Kumar and Taub test poop. Kumar says "the boob lady" emailed him again. Now she's suffering from chronic fatigue. She's convinced that her implants are responsible for her health problems. I wouldn't discount it; I saw this special on MTV once where some girl convinced her parents to get her new boobs for her 18th birthday and they gave her lupus. The fake boobs gave her lupus, that is. Not her parents. Although they did, too, indirectly. Taub is convinced that fake boobs can't cause any of The Boob Lady's symptoms, and Kumar agrees. But now The Boob Lady is threatening that if he doesn't figure out what's affecting her health, she'll complain to the licensing board. I'm sure the licensing board will take a woman with fresh fake boobs who consults online doctors very seriously.

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House

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