Evan takes a test to find out where the blind spots in his field of vision are while House pumps him for soap spoilers. Specifically, he wants to know who the father of the twins is. Evan says he's the father of one and Julio is of the other. House is thrilled with this tidbit, but Evan doesn't understand why anyone would even watch soaps. "Because [they're] awesome," House says. Evan says they're preposterous and completely unreal. House counters that all television shows are unreal. Point taken, but I still think last week's Wilson custody agreement subplot was overly silly. Fudging the medicine? Okay. Making adult characters act like creepy babies? Not cool. Foreman enters, and House already knows he's been assigned to House-watch during the surprise inspection, all based on Cuddy's behavior towards him in the ambulance bay. House informs Evan that he has significant vision loss in the upper right quadrant and will need an MRI to find the inevitable brain tumor. Foreman takes a look at the results and ruins House's fun by revealing that the test has actually come out just fine. "You lied to me?" Evan asks. House points out that he's already kidnapped him, so lying really ain't nothing. Evan takes off.
Wilson limps up to House at a medicine cart, and House immediately accuses him of mocking his limp while he gets something from the cart. Wilson says his back hurts from CTB's mattress. What a delicate flower Wilson is! (I got the cheapo special mattress from IKEA and my back is just fine.) House orders Wilson not to buy a new mattress, but Wilson says that's exactly what he and CTB intend to do and he doesn't understand what the big deal is. House says CTB turns everything into a "zero-sum game" and this will be no different. With that, he thrusts his cane into a closing elevator door, where poor Evan is trying to make his escape. It's his own fault, though; he should've taken the stairs. House and Wilson enter the elevator and continue their conversation. House says that CTB will lie, cheat, and trade in Wilson's balls to get what she wants, which, in this case, is apparently a great deal on a mattress. With that, House excuses himself from the conversation to drug Evan before he can finish dialing 911 on his cell phone. While Evan falls to the ground and Wilson just stares in horror (and yet, not so much surprise ... ), House concludes that Wilson will end up humiliated and sleeping on a mattress he hates. Wilson asks House what the hell he's doing while wondering if his presence in the elevator makes him an accomplice in the eyes of the law. "He needs an MRI," House just shrugs.