Marie is a wealth of Evan information; his dressing room is lined with gin bottles because fans send them in honor of Brock's alcoholism. Wow, what a great gift. "Your character is an alcoholic, so here's to hoping you'll be one, too!" I wonder if fans send Hugh Laurie Vicodin. Oh, god. In real life, Marie explains, Evan doesn't drink and eats healthy fruits and nuts. Sort of like the ones House is eating right now, although House denies stealing them from Evan's room. House asks Marie if she's really going to marry Brock when some fans have been waiting for four years for him to marry her sister, Anna. Ugh, that just makes Marie's betrayal all the worse! I hate her! Man-stealing whore! Marie starts to wonder if House is really a doctor, since she doesn't think a real doctor would watch soap operas. House proves his worth by saying a big medical word and asks Marie about Evan's personal life and the vices he's sure it's full of. Marie denies him, though, saying that Evan is "as vanilla as they come." She even asked him out, but after a few dates things fizzled out. House wants to know if this is because Evan's penis was too big or too small, and between that and the soap watching, I'm starting to wonder about House's heterosexuality again. Marie says she doesn't know; they made out for a while and then Evan broken things off and went home. "He's a real gentleman," Marie says. House knows very well that there is no such thing.
"He's impotent!" House announces upon entering the conference room where, despite the late hour, Cameron is still hard at work on those charts. It's like she never left! But she did, and it sucks. I wonder if, had there not been a strike this season, they would have given Chase and Cameron more to do like they promised us. Somehow, I don't think so. House attributes the impotence to Evan's sunflower seed consumption, which could cause B6 toxicity. I'm thinking you'd have to eat, like, a sun's worth of sunflower seeds for that to happen, but okay. House says Evan "can't remember the last time he was able to salute," although I don't know if he actually got that information from Evan or is making it up. The Cottages seem semi-convinced, and House orders them to start Evan on plasmapheresis to filter the B6 they don't even know is in his blood out of it. Cameron sharpens a pencil as she casually mentions that just because Evan isn't getting hard doesn't mean he physically can't. The easily-swayed Cottages start wondering if the impotence is just psychological, and Biana recommends an overnight sleep study to see if Evan gets a "reflex erection." House says they've got a much simpler and faster way to prove this, and looks at Cameron. "I'm not showing him my boobs," Cameron says. Why not? You're already doing all of House's chart work for him. Why take a stand now? House turns to Biana and rather cruelly decides that her chest is not boner-worthy. "Where can I find a decent set of knockers around here?" House wonders. Wilson's got a decent pair of man boobs ... maybe ask him? But to spare Cuddy from the question House is sure to ask her, and probably in front of the inspector, Cameron helpfully reminds him that his porn is in his desk.