House

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Cuddy's Living Nightmare

House heads for Marco the Pharmacist and asks for a huge dose of steroids. Marco doesn't want to give House so much medicine without a note from House's mom -- I mean Cuddy. That's protocol, and Marco's not going to break it with the inspector around. By the way, there's a reason why they put hospital pharmacists behind secure, locked doors. That reason is so that crazy people can't go walking in and take the drugs they want. But Marco doesn't lock his doors, even with the inspector about. So that's exactly what House does while Marco dials Cuddy to tattle.

House is about the administer the steroids to Evan when Cuddy comes in. She informs him that he's about to give his patient an overdose of steroids (as if he doesn't already know this), and that House needs to get the allergy test results back before doing anything. House says they don't have time. Cuddy counters that if she had gone along with House's protocol-avoiding ways earlier in this episode, Evan would have unnecessarily filtered blood and no thyroid. That's a good point, but House doesn't want to hear it. Cuddy says that stakes are high: If this inspection doesn't go well, then she'll be fired. And so will House. House tells her to go outside, wait three minutes to give him time to administer the steroids, and call security. Then she'll be covered if anything goes wrong. House, I'm guessing, won't be so lucky. Cuddy apparently decides to go down with the ship: She just gets all teary and asks House to let her know if Evan dies so she'll have time to pack up her desk. But she doesn't think that will happen really, does she? Or else she would have taken the easy way out or called security before House could administer the drug.

Music montage! Cuddy paces around in slow motion looking concerned. She paces outside of Evan's room, and then she paces outside the lab where the Cottages are allergy testing away. An unconcerned House plays with his cane and ball. The montage comes to an abrupt end when Cuddy informs House that the lab results just came back, and Evan is negative for all floral allergies. House was wrong! Evan's gonna die! Everyone's fired! Shit, this should be the series finale. Even the usually cool House looks alarmed. He follows Cuddy into the hall, and she says she's on her way to put Evan back on antibiotics -- assuming he's still alive.

But when Cuddy gets to Evan's room, she's shocked to see him awake and looking healthier. "The steroids worked. House was right," Foreman says. Cuddy doesn't see how; Evan was negative for floral allergies. Evan doesn't seem to care who was right or wrong as long as he's better. "Thank you," he tells House. "I was wrong. You should've stopped me," House says, glaring at Cuddy. Aw, she just can't win.

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House

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