House

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Cuddy's Living Nightmare

House, Biana, Taub, and Foreman watch soaps in the doctors' lounge with its awesome flatscreen HDTV. Marie is begging Brock to "examine" her. What a bitch! He's engaged to her sister! You guys, I hate Marie. Taub has fallen under House's spell, so now he too thinks Brock's dialogue sounds "a little forced," possibly due to stiffening of the tongue from myxedema. Biana chalks it up to bad writing. I'm wondering if the soap-bashing we're seeing during this post-strike episode has anything to do with the fact that almost thirty soap opera writers went fi-core during the strike while House's writers stood outside and lobbied for the benefits that both they and the fi-core WGA members would reap? I wouldn't blame them. I can't really blame the soap opera writers either, though. The ones who didn't go fi-core got fired and it's not like House is going to give them work. Also, Biana thinks she dated the woman playing Marie. Oh, she would, wouldn't she? Only Biana would date a woman playing a character who would sleep with her sister's fiancé! Biana pauses and waits for the men to sit forward, hoping for some hot lady sex stories, before deciding that she didn't date Marie. Foreman sees something odd in the way Evan is handling his stethoscope, and House says it could be a symptom of toxic exposure. Meanwhile, I don't see Biana contributing anything to this session except for stories about herself that aren't even true. And here comes Cuddy, who greets the scene with "What's this, the AV Club?" If it was the AV Club, they'd be watching Battlestar Galactica, not soap operas. Foreman claims this is diagnostic in nature, but Cuddy doesn't believe him for some strange reason. She calls House into the hall.

Outside, Cuddy tells House to work out his stalking issues when PPTH isn't being inspected. House says the hottest male daytime star dying at PPTH isn't exactly great press. I don't think anyone would really care, unless the story of how Evan was kidnapped and drugged came out. Cuddy says she just wants House to save Evan's life without breaking the law, and that fifty-one weeks of the year she lets him commit all sorts of crimes against his own patients. But this week, Cuddy's ass is on the line so she cares a little bit more. House says he'll do as Cuddy wishes -- if she puts the lounge HDTV in House's office. Cuddy doesn't get a chance to answer before Kumar reports that the nerve test was negative, so the foot numbness is a real symptom. House insists that this is the work of a nefarious toxin, and not because it means he'll be able to search Evan's dressing room and workplace to find it. Not at all. He tells Kumar to test Evan for all kinds of toxins and Cuddy to rethink how far he'd go to get her fired if she doesn't give him his TV.

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House

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