Wilson walks up to Sassy Cafeteria Register Lady and greets her as "Daria." Ha! Please tell me she's named after Daria Morgendorffer. Daria greets Wilson cheerfully, but then he asks her to make him a chicken sandwich. "Grill's closed," she says. Isn't the entire cafeteria closed, really? And yet, Daria is still at her cash register, doing the hell out of her job. She is already a harder worker and a more competent employee than everyone else at PPTH. Wilson says Hadley needs a high-protein meal immediately due to her "hypoproteinemia," and the cold chicken salad Daria suggests will not do. "She needs to eat warm protein for this disease?" Daria asks, not at all amused. Wilson mumbles something about activating uptake enzymes and concludes by saying that Daria's reluctance to turn the grill on could cause multiple organ failure for Hadley. Okay, come on now, Daria. Here's your chance to be the most awesome character in television history (not to mention a realistic depiction of nearly all hospital cafeteria workers I've ever met) by saying you'd rather watch Hadley die than cook a chicken sandwich. Especially since Daria runs the cash register. She's not a cook. Although I guess that's how it works at PPTH, where surgeons operate on everything from hearts to brains when they aren't serving as diagnostic fellows. But no, Daria just says "you don't have to be obnoxious about it" and heads for the kitchen, leaving her precious cash register unattended. Wilson opens it, snatches a dollar bill, and closes it, only for an alarm to go off loudly and obviously. It wakes up all the PPTH employees who don't get any lines this episode and so are spending their time in trapped in the cafeteria sleeping (hey, is that the weird night janitor I see?) and they all stare at him as Daria comes out from the kitchen and glares. Wilson places the dollar bill on the register, considers explaining himself, then gives up and walks away. Hadley finds this hilarious, because she sucks.
Episode Report CardSara M: C+ | 1689 USERS: C+
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