House
Love Hurts

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
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Hurts So Good

House finds the impatient patient pressed up against a wall, sobbing, and generously "forgives" him for ruining his jacket. House puts on his nice voice and says he seems like a "regular guy" (a regular guy who cries over spilt apple juice), and offers him twenty dollars not to file a complaint against House. The guy keeps sobbing, so House turns him around, only to find that he's not crying, but having a stroke. Wilson walks up and asks if everything worked out, and House orders a wheelchair to bring the guy to the ER. "You gave the guy a stroke?!" Wilson yells. If one more patient complaint will get House suspended, I can't imagine what this will do.

Foreman and Chase pretend to be thrilled at the return of Cameron, who says that House "begged" her to come back, although she didn't get any more money. House and Wilson come in to tell everyone about their newest patient, the twenty-year-old House scared into having a stroke. Foreman finds this hilarious. House shows them the CT scans, and Cameron is the only Cottage to notice a metal plate in the patient's jaw. I find it hard to believe that Foreman and Chase would miss a big honking thing like that, especially since it wasn't too long ago that they almost gave that woman an MRI that would have ripped the steel pin out of her arm, but I guess this is supposed to show us what a valuable and important member of the team Cameron is despite that fact that the only thing I noticed about her absence was the lack of stupid lines and forced sexual tension, so whatever. They can't do an MRI on the guy's head, meaning they'll have to find other ways to get the information they need. House orders an angiogram to rule out vasculitis, like that even needs to be ruled out; a tox screen to rule out drugs; and an echocardiogram to rule out a heart condition. The newly-reunited Cottages disperse to embark on their missions, and House tells Cameron not to discuss the "terms" of her re-hire, lest her co-workers ask for the same perks.

And of course, as soon as they're out of the office, Chase and Foreman demand to know what those perks are, and Cameron immediately tells them about her date with House. Foreman asks if it will be a "naked and sweaty" date, and Chase cringes and points out that House is "so old." Cameron assigns them all to the tasks House gave them, because she has authority now that she's dating the boss, and walks off with her head held high as if she has something to be proud of. Foreman tells Chase that this is an "accident about to happen." Chase is still confused as to why Cameron would date House over Chase himself.

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House

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