Taub tells Will he needs to practice better oral hygiene. Melissa is snotty about how Will doesn't even undress for bed. He admits that he doesn't floss and encourages Melissa to go grab some food. As soon as she's gone, he asks Taub and Park to get his laptop for him. He's got a secret ring he wants them to hide for him. Park assures him that it's beautiful.
Taub stashes the ring in Will's closet and starts snooping around. Park steals some ice cream. Taub wants to talk about Park's experiences with bad relationships going on a break. Park had a boyfriend who convinced her to go on a break, then slept with three of her friends. Then she's grossed out that the ice cream is sugar free.
House paces. Then he knocks on Blythe's door with his cane. She's in a robe. He wants her medical records and primary physician. He is distracted by Mr. Bell (Billy Connolly! House thinks he's his biological father! That happened in a previous season and I remember it only vaguely!), who is in the bed. She admits that she used the book to fool Wilson. Her real news is that she's marrying Billy Connolly!
BEEP BEEP BEEP! Will is spasming all over the place. Well, mostly in the bed.
Adams wants to add epilepsy to the list. Chase wants it off because it doesn't explain the teeth. Taub suggests that the periodontis could be coincidental, which Chase mocks. Sure, he could be blind, diabetic and have a super-rare disease. But blind, diabetic, have a super-rare disease and bad teeth? Ridiculous! Park says it's acid. She knows this because she's "tripping balls right now." She's acting the same. House checks her pupils. She sees Chase as a rabbit. And Adams is a sexy, sexy rabbit. There's a fisheye lens going on. Taub is a tooth fairy. House is still just House. Park finally laughs a little. House sends Taub to get the stuff she ate, and Chase and Adams to find out where he bought the stuff.
Will says that he's been blind since birth and wanted to see if LSD would give him visual hallucinations. I love that plan! Anyway, his girlfriend got it for him. Not Melissa. Someone else. The ring is for the interim girlfriend.
Will gives them her cell number, but he doesn't want her to know he's in the hospital.
Park is sort of covered with a jacket in House's internal office. Wilson walks in to talk to House. House updates him on all this and also reminds us that he thinks Bell is his biological father. You guys know that a "Dr. Bell" was the source for Sherlock Holmes, right? Just thought I'd mention it. Wilson tells House he avoids his mother because her opinion matters. They argue. Park interrupts with an observation about penises.