House

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Sara M: B+ | 1 USERS: A
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Hadley Does Badly

Sexy music plays as we watch a couple make out in the blurry background of a shot. And then we realize the couple consists of two women, and that one of them is Hadley. And then they're in bed. Well, that was fast. Sorry, people who tuned in for the girl-on-girl action, but House is on at 8 o'clock this season and that's the best they could do for you. Hadley rolls out of bed and into her bathroom, being sure to put on a huge shirt to cover up. Her lady friend asks her to come back to bed. What a nag! Hadley asks for a minute, but the woman -- named Spencer -- will only give her twenty seconds. I don't think that's enough time to look at yourself in the mirror and feel dead inside, but it doesn't really matter in the end since Spencer loses track of the time when she seizures off the bed. She takes a lamp out on her way down, and after a second of being pissed off that the girl she brought home just trashed her apartment, Hadley springs into doctor action and calls 911. Of course, Cameron is waiting for them at the door to the ambulance bay, since she's the only person who works in the PPTH ER and thus works there at all hours. Cameron asks Hadley if Spencer has epilepsy. "She never said," Hadley says. Cameron asks what her name is. "I don't know," Hadley says. I do feel a bit sorry for Hadley. It sucks when your Walk of Shame leads right into your workplace.

Cameron is at her very Cammiest as she immediately reports to House's office to give him the case, thereby totally fucking Hadley over. She might have gotten away with this without House finding out, but now there's no chance. There will be many a differential diagnosis session peppered with jokes about this, I assure you. House has yet to realize the gift Cameron's giving him, as he's staring out his window and into Wilson's office. He limps away to escape Cameron, but she insists on following him, saying they've got a twenty-six-year-old woman who had a "tonic-clonic" seizure, which sounds like either a cool new alcoholic drink or a strange new purifying ritual from the people who brought you coffee enemas. Spencer also claims to be suffering from fatigue and had a retinal vein occlusion two years ago. House insta-diagnoses this as diabetes, but Cameron is ahead of him there and says the tests were negative for that. He's definitely interested in the case, but a loud thumping coming from Wilson's office is more pressing at the moment.

House enters the office to find Wilson lying prone on his floor, faking death from injuries sustained when his desk chair toppled over because a certain someone removed one of its wheels. House tosses Wilson the missing wheel and yells at him for being an hour late to work, therefore making House spend an hour staring out his window in the hopes of seeing the payoff to his practical joke. Thanks to Cameron, he missed it. Ha! Girl gets two seconds of screen time a week and she still manages to ruin everyone's good time. That is impressive. Wilson says he was at a breakfast meeting at some diner to tell his other employers that he won't be working for them after all. He sure did wait until the last minute to break that news, didn't he? Wilson then sees a present waiting for him on the floor: a doughnut and milk. He calls it a "nice touch" and takes a bite. House looks very pleased with himself and leaves with a "welcome back." Aww ... when he goes out of his way to give Wilson breakfast you can easily forget all those lunches he's forced Wilson to buy for him.

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House

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