House barges into Wilson's office (not using that big automated window they spent an entire episode building and then immediately forgot about) and demands his apartment key back. Wilson says, without looking up, "If you're breaking up with me, can we at least talk about it first?" Very droll. They run through that riff for a bit, then Wilson brings today's plot into line with the season's theme by objecting to the idea of House perjuring himself while he's on parole because for the millionth time in a row, if he's caught, he'll go back to jail. House says he won't get caught, he's in love with her, and also she's paying him thirty thousand dollars. Taub interrupts with lab results.
It's not a pulmonary embolism. And Joe underwent his change of heart (which involved going off red meat and gluten) three years ago. House and Adams have an argument again about whether people can change their behavior. He threatens her with not making her team leader, and she shrugs. House notices that nobody's rising to his bait and adds a fifty-dollar-a-week raise to the position. Park announces that she's in. Chase recommends against it. House tells everyone to "nut up" and then gets epiphany face. He somehow knows that the spiritual change happened after a physical altercation. He, Chase, and Adams are going up to see Joe. Park and Taub are sent off to make a copy of House's apartment key.
House asks Joe if he got hit in the groin. As he does so, he makes Chase and Adams pick stuff up that he deliberately drops. Then he tells Joe that he was checking to see if Joe would check out either of his assistants' butts. His new theory is that he got hit in the balls so hard that he entered menopause and is now dramatically low on testosterone, which explains his "men should act like women" thing. And it also probably has some relationship to his medical symptoms.
Later, Taub tells Joe that the therapy will involve testosterone shots. Marlene wants to know if they'll increase his libido. They have a talk about who initiates sex. Taub assures them that the injections will definitely cause an increase in Joe's sex drive. But as Joe starts to zip up his pants, he announces that something's wrong: he has peed his pants. Time for a new diagnosis!