It is a dark and stormy night. A woman, Margaret, is all alone in her big, old house when she hears a noise. She finds the front door wide open, but her husband Billy is nowhere in sight, so this is now turning into one of those horrible ADT commercials where some woman is all alone in her house and then a guy wearing a dark hoodie breaks in and almost kills her but then she's saved by her alarm system, which she turned on when she was just hanging out in her living room even though no one does that. Everyone I know who has one of those burglar alarms only turns it on when he's not home or maybe sleeping in bed. In fact, I was told that you aren't supposed to turn the alarm on when you're home. Anyway, none of this matters, as Margaret doesn't have an alarm system, so she calls Billy. He says he's only a few blocks away, so she says she'll be fine and hangs up. But the creepy noises persist, so, armed with some sort of trophy with, like, a gyroscope on it, Margaret heads upstairs to investigate. She finds nothing but another open door and runs down the stairs smack into the arms of her husband. She feels relief for a few seconds before barfing all over the place.
House wakes up the next morning in his own bed alone, which he seems quite pleased about. He spreads out to take advantage of having the space to himself before arriving at work wearing that red T-shirt I think he wore last week. Ah, but there is a new face in the meeting room: Chase's new hire, Dr. Kelly Benedict. House refuses to shake the hand she offers, and you'd think Chase would've warned her not to bother being friendly to him. Dr. Kelly tells House that she just finished a psychiatry residency but thinks she can "make more of a difference" as one of House's fellows than as a psychiatrist. Yeah, that's what Taub thought, too, and he hasn't done shit. When he was a plastic surgeon, he was probably helping out burn victims and chimpanzee attacks and all kinds of stuff. But on House's team, all he does is get things wrong so his boss, who constantly makes fun of him, can get them right. House stares at Dr. Kelly's boobs for a while, then informs her that she's hot, like she didn't already know that. You know, one of these days, they're going to hire a not-hot female at PPTH. I just know it. And no, that sociopath drug-stealing pharmacist lady from last season doesn't count. Foreman tries to change the subject to their new patient, but House says Dr. Kelly looks like Cameron, so therefore Chase only hired her to sleep with her. She doesn't look like Cameron to me, but whatever. We're probably all supposed to have forgotten what Cameron looks like by now anyway. House tells Chase that this won't work because it's the "emotional connection" with Cameron he misses and not her looks. Because House is just that nice to his employees, he tries to lay the groundwork for an emotional connection between Chase and Dr. Kelly by asking her about things she might have in common with Cameron, like marrying a guy with a terminal illness or freezing his sperm for later use. Hmmm. When you put it that way, Cameron does sound like a loon. Chase insists that Dr. Kelly is nothing like Cameron. "Then why'd you make her wear Cameron's clothes?" House asks. "I'm wearing my own clothes," Dr. Kelly says, actually thinking that House believes Chase made her wear someone else's clothes and that she'd agree to do so. Also, those don't look anything like Cameron's clothes. For one thing, there's no vest.