Once they're away from the Moms, Foreman lectures Cameron on her suckiness at delivering bad news. She doesn't really have a problem with her problem, her defense being that bad news is really hard for people to hear. "It's easier to die than to watch someone die," she says. Sure thing, Cammy. I can't really disagree with you, though, seeing as how there are no dead people I can ask to make the comparison. Cameron somehow manages to walk away despite carrying the crushingly heavy weight of her Big Issues.
Cuddy's team of med students swab the hospital decks. Wilson's hanging around for no reason other than to argue the futility of this exercise. Cuddy says it's not like the med students have anything else to do, since there aren't any babies to deliver. Thus far, all they've turned up is the fact that the antibacterial gel dispensers are out of service. Oh, and that the med students haven't been properly instructed on the importance of wearing tie clips, as one of them is stupidly letting his tie dangle into the sink drain while he swabs a faucet. "Put on a tie clip or take the damn thing off," Cuddy warns him.
You'd think the hospital had more urgent matters requiring House's attention, like the dying babies, but no. He's on clinic duty dealing with his latest patient, a young woman who works out like crazy but can't seem to lose any weight. "You have a parasite," House diagnoses as he whips out the ultrasound machine. He says that after about a month, the "parasite" will be illegal to remove in most states, but that most women "learn to embrace" it and even dress it up in tiny clothes. Unless, you know, it dies without ever leaving the hospital it was born in. But I'm getting ahead of myself here. The parasite in question is a baby, of course, although House's patient hasn't caught on to that yet because she's not the smartest thing in the world, is she? I'd say that I hope her baby winds up more intelligent than she is, but after four months of bouncing around the womb walls while Mom does her marathon training, I think the chances are pretty slim. That is a joke backed with absolutely no medical evidence whatsoever, so please don't email me with stories of how you ran a hundred marathons while pregnant and your kid came out totally perfect, please, Moms! Marathon Mom says there's no way she can be pregnant -- she has a birth control implant, and she knows it's working since she hasn't gotten her period. House points out that the same thing happens if it isn't working, which is why she was supposed to have monthly pregnancy tests. Is not having to take a tiny pill when you wake up in the morning really worth having to pee on a stick once a month? House says that Mom has about five months to plan the baby shower. Mom does some impressively quick (for her) mental math and says that, four months ago, she and her husband had a "really big fight," and that she totally slept with an ex-boyfriend. Husband doesn't know about it, so there's no way Mom's going to get him in there for a paternity test. House says that if the husband looks like her ex-boyfriend, then no one will ever be the wiser. That's terrible advice for so many reasons.