House
Maternity

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | Grade It Now!
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Maybe Dead Baby

A couple relax in a bed, Mom presumably tired out from all the baby-delivering and Dad from whatever it is dads do while the womenfolk scream and cry. House and Foreman enter the room, and House walks right on up to the new baby and lifts it up out of its bed-thing. It immediately begins to cry, because House makes babies cry. The parents sit up, alarmed. "Hi. Bye," says House, and he hands the baby off to Foreman and leaves the room. He's got small talk down to a science, I'll say that for him. Foreman returns the baby to the bed and tells the parents they have a "good-lookin' baby." And in New Jersey, you only have to wait about fifteen years and three hundred and sixty-four days!

Chase and Cameron walk into a hospital room where a woman is in the middle of giving birth. "We'll see you again later!" Chase says, his weird inability to handle anything female and sex-related from the last episode apparently fixed. The group checks in with House and say they've checked the entire floor, and all babies are healthy. House remembers that there are overflow rooms on the next floor, and away he goes! Sure enough, he's just in time to catch a baby as its fever spikes.

Cuddy sadly watches a sick baby being wheeled into the sick-baby nursery. A woman in labor is wheeled onto the floor, and Cuddy turns the wheelchair around and says she's really sorry, but the maternity ward has been shut down and she'll have to go to another hospital. House always gets his way.

Differential diagnosis time! Now with special guest Dr. Cuddy! We've got three, possibly four, sick babies. Foreman says that the babies will be dead in a day at the rate their BPs are dropping. Cameron reports that the three sick babies don't have any delivery rooms or doctors in common. Cuddy says she'll put a team together to swab the floor, and leaves. How cool would it be if Cuddy's team looked exactly like House's team? And then they could do battle at the end in a disease diagnosis final showdown: winner takes all. I bet MirrorCameron would be a lot cooler than OriginalCameron, too. The MirrorChase, however, would not be hotter than the OriginalChase. Back in the show, the Cottages compare Cuddy's attempt to find the epidemic culprit through swabbing to looking for a needle in a haystack. House says that's true, but that the hospital is Cuddy's baby, and that if she isn't doing something to help it get better, her head will explode. And House doesn't want to get any Cuddy scalp on his nice new jacket. Cameron laughs at this. MirrorCameron would have made a snarky remark about how scalp matter could only make that mustard yellow color look better.

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House

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