Merry Little Christmas

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
A Little Of This, A Little Of That

House follows him into his patient's room, where we see that Wilson's patient has died. Shocking, I know. Wilson consoles the guy's new widow while the guy is still lying in his hospital bed, decomposing away. Ew! House tries to cheer the widow up by saying that she won't have to go by "Mrs. Zebalusky" anymore. Is "Zebalusky" really the worst Polish name the writers could come up with? From my experience, "Zebalusky" is actually one of the more easy-to-pronounce Polish names. There's no more than two consonants together at one time and a total lack of W's. Anyway, Mrs. Zebalusky's response to this is the standard stare of horrified disbelief House usually gets. Wilson starts to apologize for his friend, who then starts telling Mrs. Zebalusky what a crappy doctor Wilson is, wondering if he even got Mr. Zebalusky's death correct. I guess that's why they're hanging out in his room -- to see if he starts rotting to confirm it. Wilson doesn't force House of the room, like I would have at this point, but actually tries to reason with him. House laughs in his face and says that, even in his condition, he managed to out-diagnose Wilson with the Still's thing. The Widow Zebalusky asks House to leave, and he actually has enough humanity left to apologize to her and leave the room. Oh, no, wait -- he's only leaving because he snuck some of Mr. Zebalusky's pain meds into his pocket and was trying to make a quick getaway. Wilson stops him and takes the dead man's oxycodone out of House's pocket. "Curses!" says House, "foiled again!"

Wilson is hanging out in Cuddy's office when she returns. She says that Abigail is doing much better on the Still's meds, and Wilson sighs that it never occurred to him. Maybe that's because Still's disease is usually marked by joint pain, high fevers, and a rash, symptoms Abigail doesn't have. Cuddy tells Wilson not to beat himself up over missing the diagnosis: "I didn't get it either." That's...not much consolation. Cuddy never gets it. She's the only doctor at PPTH who's worse than Wilson.

Wilson then has a ridiculous secret car meeting with Shitter. He tells Shitter that he's changed his mind and will not testify against House. Addicts, says Wilson, hurt people with their habits. House's addiction allows him to do the opposite: "Statistically, House is a positive force in the universe." Yeah, and Hitler helped Germany out of its post-WWI depression and made it strong again. And he loved dogs! It doesn't mean we should have let him go about his business. Not that House is Hitler or anything close to that, but you know what I mean. Shitter points out that Vicodin doesn't make House a genius. He can save lives and be a positive force in the universe without it. Hey, Shitter's actually making sense! I'm starting to warm up to him -- oh, and then he tells Wilson that if he refuses to testify against House, Shitter will just use Wilson's previous statements against House and charge Wilson with interfering with an investigation. And then Wilson can join House in jail. It's really too bad that the Princeton PD is putting all this effort into sending House and friends to jail while the crazed gunman who shot a doctor in his own hospital runs around free as a bird.

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