77 watches the Big Game on the flat screen TV he has in his room. Both 77's hospital and Marcus's halfway house rooms are nicer than my apartment. This is pathetic. Anyway, a freeze frame of the TV screen shows that archaeologists have uncovered another Roman era settlement near London on the news ticker. Such exciting news on WKBG's All Star Football coverage! I wish we could learn more about that settlement than we did about 77 or Cuddy's psycho boyfriend. House walks into the room and opens with this gem: "you know why you're black?" "Cause God loved me more than he loves you," 77 says, clearly having had to use this retort in previous instances in his life. But House was actually asking a scientific question, and the answer is melanin. Black people have a lot of it, thus making their skin dark and protecting them from the sun's evil rays. Unlike my stupid near-translucent skin that turns an angry red and then blisters and peels anytime the sun gets near it. I inherited that skin from the English side of my family, while my mother's side gave me lots of moles. This combination means I get to go to a dermatologist once a year to make sure my moles aren't turning into cancer. 77 does not have to do this because skin cancer is so unusual in black people that doctors usually forget to include it in a list of diagnoses. On the rare occasions that a black person does get skin cancer, the melanoma is usually found in the paler parts of his skin, around the palms or soles of the feet. Because 77 plays so much football, his palms and feet are smashed and bruised, so the melanoma was even harder to notice. House finally finds it in between 77's big and second toe and explains, along with the Magic Schoolbus Camera (which we really don't see enough anymore) to illustrate, that 77's body created antibodies to fight the cancer, which then apparently got a little overzealous and fought various non-cancerous things as well, causing all of 77's symptoms. House says as soon as they remove the cancerous mole, "everything should be fine." Well, except for the fact that 77 has cancer. That kind of sucks. But 77 is more upset about the fact that he missed the game and somehow the only chance he had to get drafted. "What kind of life am I gonna lead now?" he whines. "The same crappy life that the rest of the guys you'll be graduating with are gonna lead -- minus the student loans," House says, unsympathetic. Yeah, because there are tons of jobs out there for new college graduates. He leaves the room as 77's mother smiles and pat her son's leg. Apparently, his cancer diagnosis has put her in a good mood.
Episode Report CardSara M: B | 1353 USERS: B
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