House
House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A- | 1610 USERS: B-
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Scared Lovers Try Positions They Can't Handle

Foreman is spared from answering by a cut to Chase and Cameron snooping around Stevie's house. They note the filthiness of the place, which is littered with dirty laundry, a gross litter box, and rotten fruit in the kitchen table's fruit basket centerpiece. "This is putrid," states Cameron. Chase tells her to check for foodborne toxins and such while he checks out the bedroom. He swaggers into a bedroom only to find two people having sex in it. Well, well, well! It's about time the Cottages got caught breaking and entering. Chase looks away and apologizes as the woman hops off her partner and ridiculously threatens to shoot them with the gun shape she's making with her finger under her blanket. She does remain remarkably calm for someone who just got interrupted during sex by a complete stranger. I'd be screaming my head off and throwing things at him. Cameron walks upstairs and somehow doesn't hear any of the commotion until she's halfway into the bedroom, at which point she puts her hands up and gasps an "oh!" in a most cartoonish manner. The guy finally speaks up and tells Chase and Cameron to help themselves to his wallet while he calls the cops, and I guess he and the woman don't need to use protection since he has no balls and therefore there's no chance of her getting pregnant. For whatever reason, Chase has decided not to get the hell out of there, but instead goes on the offensive, accusing the couple of having an affair. He points out that the man is wearing a ring and the woman isn't. Asshole! If you're going to cheat, the least you could do is take the ring off. Chase gets in a final dig by saying that, judging by the condition of the house, the woman must be a better lover than she is a maid. At this, the woman takes great offense, while Cameron either shakes her head or falls asleep. "You son of a bitch!" the woman says. "This is my house, not his." "Uh...sorry," Chase says, looking quite sheepish. "What's wrong with my kitchen?!" she demands, like, come on, lady. I mean, I don't keep the tidiest of kitchens either, but I don't deny it. If you think that kitchen is clean, then you have some kind of problem in addition to your slatternly ways. Cameron tries to make nice, saying they're there to help Stevie. The woman has no clue who Stevie is. "Your son?" says Cameron. The man looks up, all, "Oh shit! She has a son? I'm so screwed." "Huh?" the woman asks.

House

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