House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A+ | 1948 USERS: B-
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Three Strikes

Kumar gives Jeff and Deb the great news while Biana and Taub rudely watch the proceedings from the hall. Taub says he knows how it's going inside already: they'll say the test is wrong, Kumar will tell them he ran it twice to make sure. Then each spouses blame each other, which is stupid because obviously half of the pair is lying and knows it, and the other half will know it as well. Unless, Biana points out, they both cheated. Since this is House, I'm sure they did. Taub feelingly says that's what you hope for when you get caught -- until it actually happens. "Then you realize that that sucks worse," Taub sighs. I'm sorry, but if you cheat on your wife you don't get to be upset if she cheats on you, too. And if you do, maybe you should think about those hurt feelings the next time you decide to cheat, hmm? Biana just looks at Taub, all amused at these mortals and their preference for just one gender.

Inside Jeff's room, the conversation is not going as Taub planned. Jeff doesn't get suspicious or admit that he's been caught. Instead, he says the STD test he took for the Peace Corps. must have been wrong. I'd be kind of upset if I'd been walking around for at least ten years with syphilis because the Peace Corps. couldn't get their STD-testing act together, but not Jeff. He's nice. Deb doesn't seem to mind too much either, even though this should mean that she, too, has syphilis. "What other explanation is there?" Jeff says. Kumar invites Deb to talk in the hall, where she is quick to deny sleeping around. If that's the case, Kumar says, then shouldn't she be really mad at Jeff, since he must have? That's a good point, but Deb only non-answers that when you meet someone who's "too nice," you get annoyed because he reminds you of everything you're not. And then you ask yourself why you can't be too nice as well, and fall in love with the "naïve idiot" and become a better person. A better person who doesn't mind her husband sleeping around, apparently. Then she asks the real question, the one that's been on her mind from the beginning; "do you really think I've been in love all these years with a symptom?" She's upset, but it could be worse. What if she was really shallow and fell in love with a guy because she found his huge balls really sexy, only to find out it was elephantiasis? At least she fell in love with something worth falling in love with. It is embarrassing that it's an STD, though. Kumar just says that as they treat the syphilis, the lesions on Jeff's brain will clear up and his personality could change. Deb says she knows her husband is truly nice and isn't worried, except that she sounds really worried. Kumar reminds her that she probably has syphilis, too. Double worries for Deb! And no nurses around to do the blood test, either.

House

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