House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A+ | 1942 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Three Strikes

With that, House returns to Wilson and says that while he wanted to provoke a fight between Wilson and CTB by getting Wilson drunk and impotent, he also knows that Wilson allowed himself to get drunk, even knowing what could happen. Therefore, House says, Wilson must not want to be with CTB. House's mind tricks won't work on Wilson tonight, as he's too drunk to allow them to penetrate into the inner sanctum of insecurity. Instead, Wilson says he just got carried away having drinks with someone he thought was his friend. He slams some money down on the counter and staggers out. Meanwhile, I wouldn't think any guy would want to be in a relationship with someone who would yell at them for having erection issues. Or, for that matter, in a friendship with someone who would help cause them. But clearly Wilson cares a lot less about his own penis than House and CTB do.

While Taub and Biana do their jobs in the lab and test Jeff for various liver ailments, Kumar does some extra credit work, checking out the syphilis test he ran on some of House's blood he apparently found lying around. And it's positive. Everyone greets this news with grave looks on their faces, as if syphilis isn't easily cured. They're so shocked and upset, in fact, that no one questions why there would be a vial of House's blood lying around the lab in the first place or if that blood was fresh enough or properly stored to even run an accurate test. I mean, come on.

House is watching his soap opera, which I'm sure we won't be hearing any more about in next week's episode, when his entire staff enters his office. By the way, I love the way the soap actress lady said the line "it will destroy her!" The four line up in front of House's desk and Kumar, his tone super-grave, tells House to turn off the TV. This is silly. I once recapped an episode of 7th Heaven where one of the Camden kids paid dearly for daring to have premarital sex by worrying that he might have an STD. They never said which STD, but Simon ran around acting like it was the end of the world when most STDs can be cured with antibiotics. In fact, I have a friend who got Chlamydia in college and they just gave him one big pill. I'm sure it's no fun to get an STD, but this isn't Victorian times anymore. That episode of 7th Heaven was stupid and so is this. Taub gives the news about the patient first, saying he tested positive for (non-viral, although I'm not sure why that's relevant) hepatitis. Um ... that sounds like a problem. And a big deal. But they never really mention it again, so whatever. House orders Taub to put Jeff on steroids and test him for sarcoidosis. Taub is happy to have an assignment and escape from this awkwardness, but Biana won't let him leave, whispering "we're all doing this." Oh, come on now! All four of them need to deliver this news? Do all four of them even need to know this news? Note to my friends: if you ever happen to come across a vial of my blood and have STD testing equipment and something comes up positive, please don't gather everyone I know and come to my apartment to deliver the news, okay? You can just text me. No biggie.

House

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