House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Three Strikes

House and Wilson did not go mini-golfing. They're at a bar, and Wilson has a couple girly martinis lined up in front of him. Wilson slurringly asks House if he's trying to get him drunk. House just smiles. When Wilson finds out that's it's 10:30, he goofily says, "ooooh, she'll kill you!" House shrugs and pushes another drink in Wilson's direction and promises to bring him home before lights out. "Then she'll kill me," Wilson whines, taking the drink and stammering that if he gets any drunker, "it," he says, with this hilarious look on his face; "might not work." He makes that expression again, and I guess I can see what people see in Wilson. He is kind of adorable here. I say make Wilson drunk all the time from here on out. As for House, he totally knew that drinks made Wilson go soft since at least one of Wilson's ex-wives told House this little factoid. Wow, Wilson must have really pissed her or them off for them to talk to House, let alone tell him something so potentially damaging. Wilson can't believe that House was pretending to be so reasonable about CTB, only to lure him out to a bar and impotence. Wilson, when did you get so gullible?

House doesn't have to answer Wilson right away, as he gets a call from the kids. Jeff is apparently vomiting blood now, which we don't even get to see on-camera anymore because this show is apparently sick of being about people who work in a hospital. Seriously, when's the last time the Magic Schoolbus Cam did anything? Sigh. Taub writes hematemesis down on the Whiteboard O'Symptoms, but House has eyes in the back of his phone and tells Taub to leave his board alone. Taub dutifully erases the symptom and says syphilis can cause hematemesis. But House knows that both Biana and Kumar don't agree with this, and Taub marvels at House's mind-reading abilities. Indeed, Biana and Kumar think Jeff's syphilis should be getting better with the medicine, not worse. Therefore, they think the bleeding is from liver damage caused by either the carpet cleaning chemicals (which, I'll just say right now, where one big red herring this week) or the penicillin Jeff is taking for the syphilis. Biana says it'll take a full day for the tests to come back. "A full night, actually," House says, as the Cottages groan.

With that, House returns to Wilson and says that while he wanted to provoke a fight between Wilson and CTB by getting Wilson drunk and impotent, he also knows that Wilson allowed himself to get drunk, even knowing what could happen. Therefore, House says, Wilson must not want to be with CTB. House's mind tricks won't work on Wilson tonight, as he's too drunk to allow them to penetrate into the inner sanctum of insecurity. Instead, Wilson says he just got carried away having drinks with someone he thought was his friend. He slams some money down on the counter and staggers out. Meanwhile, I wouldn't think any guy would want to be in a relationship with someone who would yell at them for having erection issues. Or, for that matter, in a friendship with someone who would help cause them. But clearly Wilson cares a lot less about his own penis than House and CTB do.

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House

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