House

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Sara M: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Three Strikes

House reports to Cuddy's office to give her the performance reviews. She's impressed with the first one. Then she realizes that House just wrote one review and copied it for all the fellows and is less thrilled, but hopefully not surprised. She says it's better than what she was expecting, at least. House says he went above and beyond the call of duty by providing Cuddy with her own review, an idea he got from Foreman: "your treatment of patients is non-existent because you're not a doctor, you're an administrator. Management of employees is -- well, let's face it. They're outside carrying signs." Cuddy points out that the strike has been over for two shifts now, to which House raises his eyebrows and wonders why he didn't notice. "What exactly do they do around here, anyway?" he asks the AMPTP. He reads the rest of the review for us, and it's basically that Cuddy wants and needs someone to fuck her. "What you've accomplished makes you proud, but you're still miserable," he concludes. Little does he know that in this one instance, Cuddy wields a little bit of power over him, and now she definitely wants to use it. She leans forward and says CTB told on House for violating the custody agreement. Doesn't CTB have a job? She seems to go around telling on people all day. House says CTB broke the rules by "breaching confidentiality." "You're both losing fingers," Cuddy smirks.

Jeff is eating again, and Deb says he'll probably be discharged tomorrow as she hands him some ketchup. Jeff eats and frowns; ketchup doesn't taste the way it used to. "I guess I don't like ketchup anymore. Wonder what else I don't like," he says, while Deb looks worried despite how her claims that she isn't. And then "You Keep Me Hangin' On" by the Supremes come on the soundtrack! Yay! I love this song. I would also have accepted the '80s version by Kim Wilde, but with less enthusiasm.

Night falls on PPTH, and House and CTB are submitting to Cuddy's punishment, which appears to be changing the sheets of smelly patients. Well, I guess House can learn what exactly it is that the nurses do. He asks CTB what she's doing with Wilson on Friday night, and CTB answers him with a lie. She knows better than to give him the opportunity to show up and ruin things. Wilson watches them work from outside and smiles to himself, although it looks to me like his girlfriend has a lot more chemistry with his best friend than she does with him ...

What ails the staff at PPTH? We've got the diagnoses.

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House

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