House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
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Three Strikes

But let us leave the medical mystery stuff this show was built on for some cartoony fun times in Cuddy's office, as House, Wilson, and CTB, who may or may not work at PPTH, have crowded in front of Judge Cuddy for approval of their custody arrangement. Judge Cuddy, by the way, has better things to do, such as settle the nurses strike. And yet, here she is, doing House's bidding. CTB explains that Wilson is "too much of a wuss to make the call for himself -- and I mean that with all the love in the world." CTB thinks she's awesome for that little callback, but the fact is that Wilson is chilling out in the back of the room eating his Sun Chips and clearly beyond caring. And Sun Chips are good, so Wilson wins this round. Cuddy sees a way to get something for her own personal benefit out of this deal and produces a file. "Your treatment of patients is reprehensible," she starts as House rolls his eyes. "You're reading his performance review?" Wilson asks. "I'M BUSY. WE HAVE A NURSES STRIKE," Cuddy growls, and Wilson backs off like the wuss he is. Cuddy continues that House is abusive to employees as CTB turns to go. Wilson whines that he wants to hear the review. Heh heh. Cuddy finishes that House does not follow rules and is racist and sexist. "That top makes you look like an Afghani prostitute," House says. Cuddy, why bother with this exercise in futility? He won't change and you won't make him change. The fact that you continue to act as though he might without giving him any additional reason to simply makes you look super-lame at administrating. Cuddy tells House to sign the review as Kumar bursts in. House says he'll sign it if Cuddy gives them a custody ruling. Why does he even care? It's not like he has any intention of abiding by it. Kumar steals one of Wilson's Sun Chips and observes. Cuddy says she'll give them a ruling if House does his team's performance reviews. Yeah, I'm so sure he'll do them. But he says he will, and Cuddy agrees to whatever terms CTB offered House. Despite not winning Monday nights, House is still pleased; Wednesday night are ladies' night at Cheetah's, which I'm assuming is the local strip joint. More innocently, it could also be the pet name of the local African Animals Appreciation Society.

Kumar finally gives House the big news on Jeff. Are you ready for this? Sit tight, because Jeff's calcium levels are ... NORMAL! Actually, this is significant because Jeff's calcium should be low with all the hydrofluoric acid he keeps around the house for his carpet cleaning business. I find it kind of funny that hydroFLOORic acid is used for carpet cleaning. House says that could mean that Jeff actually has high levels of calcium, and the acid is lowering them to make things appear normal. And House has just the diagnosis, which he assures Kumar will be fun to give. As it's minute 14, I'm going to assume is also wrong.

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House

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